


Tales as Old as Time

by Bookwormgal



Series: Never Had A Friend Like Me [2]
Category: Fairly OddParents
Genre: Alien Culture, Aliens, Bureaucracy, Butterfly Net, Child Neglect, Cute Kids, Different Types Of Magic, Djinni & Genies, Fairies, Families of Choice, Family, Friendship, Gen, Interspecies Adoption, Low Self-Esteem, Magic, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Nicknames, Nightmares, Norm Hates Canada, Not All Love is Romantic, Plans, Post-Fairy Idol, Post-Timmy's Secret Wish, Sarcasm, Sequel, Shyness, Side Story, Sources of Magic, Substitute Parental Figure, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Wishes, episodic format, preparations, trap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 03:43:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4506456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookwormgal/pseuds/Bookwormgal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel/Side-story to "Never Had a Friend Like Me." </p><p>Life isn't straightforward, even for those who have magical companions. Sometimes, especially those who have magical companions. Fairies, genies, children, and the general chaos of life continue even outside the main storyline. No matter what happens, life goes on for Norm, Amanda, Timmy, and everyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> New readers, welcome. I highly suggest you turn around and read "Never Had a Friend Like Me" before you read this story. Otherwise you will be deeply, deeply, deeply confused about what in the world is going on. After you finish, come back and enjoy this story with a proper understanding about what happened to everyone.
> 
> Old and loyal readers, welcome back. This is what I promised you at the end of the first story. A sequel/side-story/spin-off type of thing! I know you're anxious to get started, but I better explain a few things.
> 
> First off, each chapter is set up like an episode of the show. This is all basically stuff I couldn't put in the first story for pacing reasons. They will vary in length depending on what a particular episode requires, but there won't be as many cliffhangers and there won't be a huge overall story arc that will lead to a climatic showdown to save the universe (that was in the last story). Most of the time everything will get reasonably wrapped up in a single chapter, though some might end up as longer and split between two chapters for convenience. There might also be some jumping around in the timeline if it becomes necessary, but I will always let you know when in the timeline a particular chapter takes place.
> 
> Second, I am not taking requests. I know you'll be tempted, but I already know what I plan to do for this. So if you start suggesting I put in a specific character, use a particular plot line, pair a specific couple together, or anything along that line, I will ignore it. If I coincidentally already have the same thing in mind, good for you. Otherwise, you're welcome to borrow my characters and concepts to write your ideas yourself (just give credit to me on what you borrow).
> 
> Third, and this goes back to the "no suggestions" part, I will not go through the newer episodes of the show and just insert Amanda into events. I refuse to do that. I prefer to be more creative than just copying stuff directly from episodes.
> 
> And fourth, I do not own "The Fairly Oddparents," their locations, their characters, or their concepts. Nor do I own "Beauty and the Beast," which inspired the title for this story. I did create Amanda, her parents, Tanda the genie, Daja the genie, Shadowville, and a few other bits and pieces that showed up in my last story. But you can always borrow them if you like. Just let me know so I can take a look too and give me credit.
> 
> All right, now that all of that is out of the way, time to get started. This is set before the final chapter of "Never Had a Friend Like Me," as will most of the other chapters. If you don't know why, then you're probably one of those new readers who didn't take my advice about going to read the prequel. And you definitely need that information because this take place not long after Chapter 33 and it really hits the ground running.

_The sound of glass, his lamp, shattering filled his ears while pain hit hard. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. He could barely breathe. Panic and terror gripped him almost as hard as the agony that wracked his body._

_Wave after wave of blinding pain flooded his body, each successive hit matching his racing heartbeat and each one worse than before. He couldn't think. He couldn't move. Every breath was short, tense, and labored pants that he could barely manage through the agony. Even worse was the exhaustion and coldness accompanying the pain with the more recent waves that washed over him. With every pulse of agony that wracked his poor body, the more Norm felt the newer symptoms. The only constant to the experience was the indescribable and unrelenting pain, the source from which the rest of it radiated out from, deep within his chest. And even with his mind overwhelmed by everything he was feeling, Norm knew what he was experiencing._

_He was bleeding out. Not blood like a human might in a similar condition or any other visible life-sustaining material. No, what he was losing was nothing as obvious to the random observer. The genie was hemorrhaging magic at a deadly speed._

_Death didn't come easily to magical creatures, but it could happen in certain situations. But the destruction of a genie's lamp was certainly an effective way to ensure it. They would lose their magic and their lives. And Norm's time was up._

_There was still pain, still coldness, and still exhaustion, but now there was a numbness starting to settle in. It started with the tip of his smoky tail and his fingers, but it was speeding inwards. Norm didn't know whether to be grateful for the end of pain in those numbed areas or worried._

_He was alone. Why? That was the worst part. He thought there should have been a voice. A presence. He didn't want to be alone as his magic and life poured out of his body. Somehow being alone made it far worse._

_So tired. So cold and tired. Even with the spreading numbness, it still hurt. He just wanted it to stop. He couldn't focus. At least, not for very long and not easily. He was too tired, too utterly exhausted. His limbs were so heavy and numb, leaving the slowing waves of pain in his chest and head only. Everything felt slower, from his foggy mind to his heartbeat that matched the remaining flashes of agony. He just wanted it to stop, wanted it to end._

_Then he felt it. He felt that last smidge of magic slip away. And the loss of magic let the numbness and darkness wash over him, destroying all that was left of Norm. He was plunged into empty silence._

"Gah!" he shouted, bolting upright from his hammock and clutching at his chest.

Norm felt himself gasping for air as his heart raced and his body shivered. Just a nightmare. A horrible nightmare, but just a nightmare nonetheless. He was fine. He was alive and unhurt. His magic wasn't bleeding away and leaving him dying. He was safe. It was just a nightmare. Trying to reassure himself of that very simple truth, his eyes scanned the interior of his lava lamp as if to prove that there was no threat.

Well, not _his_ lava lamp. Or at least not his original lava lamp. It was a new one he'd created, incorporating a few glass shards from his old one to make it easier to locate if necessary. The fact he was in need of a new home in the first place was certainly the reason he was having nightmares.

His sleep wasn't being interrupted just by the horrors of his imagination. It was based on a memory. In fact, it was a memory from just a few days ago. Less than a week ago, he had been dying a horrible and agonizing death. His lamp was destroyed. Norm knew that he should be dead. Any other genie would have died. He even suspected that at least for a few seconds…

But he wasn't dead. And he was free. The reason he was alive was because she wished him free. And that was also why the nightmare wasn't completely true. He wasn't alone when it happened.

With his heart rate and breathing starting to slow down, the genie decided to get up and grab something to drink. It wasn't like he would be getting back to sleep anytime soon. He wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, purposefully ignoring the fact that his shivering had nothing to do with the cold, and headed towards his couch. A quick snap of the fingers and a glass of milk appeared with a _gong_.

There were some costs that came with freedom. He knew that he didn't quite have as much magic available for use anymore, but it wasn't that great a hindrance. He wouldn't be rewriting history, the major laws of the universe, or anything extremely huge anymore, but he still had enough magic for most of his requirements. A glass of milk was certainly no challenge. Besides, the benefits of his freedom were far greater and he'd wanted it for too long to complain. Not to mention that being freed at that exact moment saved his life.

He was happy to be free. He honestly was. Norm would be the first to admit that he'd wanted it for so long, just like every other genie in existence. Being freed from their lamp or bottle was the ultimate goal to aim for and almost none of them ever achieved it. He could go anywhere that he wanted or do whatever he might desire. And yet, he had absolutely no plans to leave. It was funny how much things could change within about half a year's time.

The genie took a sip of the milk, trying to banish the memory of pain, fear, and falling into silent darkness. It was in the past. It couldn't hurt him and it wouldn't happen again. There was nothing to fear. He silently reminded himself of that over and over until he was beginning to believe it. He knew it was dumb to worry about what happened, but the fear of death was hard to completely banish once exposed to the possibility.

So wrapped up with the nightmares lurking in the back of his mind, Norm almost missed it. The second time, he definitely heard it. Something was wrong. He could hear it from outside his lava lamp. And it banished any remaining sleepiness or chill from the nightmare as he quickly snapped his fingers with a _gong_.

He reappeared in her bedroom to a scene that he'd reenacted not that long ago himself. Amanda, his ex-master, was trapped in a nightmare. The brunette child was whimpering and flailing slighting within her cocoon of blankets. Her face was twisted into a look of pure misery that he just couldn't stand.

"Hey, kid," he whispered gently. "It's just a dream. It's all right."

"Norm," she whimpered. "No… no…"

"Shh…" said the genie, stroking the top of her head. "It's all right. I promise."

"No… stay with me… please."

He grimaced slightly. He didn't want to wake her up. Norm knew she'd wake up in tears, especially if she was dreaming about what he thought she was. He would have to hold her and reassure her for quite a while before she would calm down, but he would do it if necessary. He just wanted to find another alternative first. Besides, she might wake up screaming like he did and that would probably grab her parents' attention. And that would lead to them complaining about her and it would take all of his self-restraint not to banish them to Mars. He needed to find a less complicated option.

In theory, he could try adjusting her dreams with magic. It was theoretically possible, even without his past levels of power. But it wasn't a wish that came up often, so he wasn't very experienced with adjusting dreams in progress. He didn't want to experiment too much with Amanda's mind. Not to mention that messing with dreams and nightmares tended to involve getting a good look at the original version and his own subconscious was having enough trouble handling things without getting another angle of view regarding his near demise.

Reaching the limit of his creativity during the middle of the night, Norm simply reached out and scooped the child up. He held her close and started humming softly to her. He didn't think; he just started humming the first song that came to mind while he floated there with the girl in his arms. It was only after she started to calm down that he recognized the tune from his brief involvement with Fairy Idol. Of all the things he might use to comfort Amanda, "Gimme the Wand" wasn't the first one he'd ever consider.

But as he continued with the tune, her whimpers and movements died down and the expression on her face smoothed out. The girl remained asleep, but she was clearly slipping out of the nightmare that tried to plague her. Hopefully she would forget all about it by morning.

"It's all right," he murmured softly, though he wasn't certain if he was speaking to the sleeping child or himself. "We're all right. It's over."

Only after he was certain that she was completely out of danger from further nightmares did the genie carefully place her back on her bed. Norm then covered her back up and tucked her teddy bear back in with her. Then, after watching for a few more minutes just to be safe, the genie reluctantly decided to head back into his lamp to see if he could manage a few more hours of rest.


	2. Dinner Party Pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bringing in a character this time that I actually wanted to use in "Never Had a Friend Like Me," but I just couldn't fit him in properly at the time. It would just interrupt the flow of the story too much. But thanks to the more episodic nature of this story, I managed to work him in.
> 
> We also get to continue everyone favorite pastime: hating Amanda's parents and wishing they would be sent to Mars! That's right. They're back. And they're just as bad as ever. One of these days they're going to cross a line and end up on a lifeless planet.
> 
> This is set a few days after the last chapter. So about a week and a half after the "Bob" incident…

Since the moment they moved to Dimmsdale, the Adams couple did their best to insert themselves among the more influential families. Being successful at their jobs often required more than hard work. It required making the right connections and friends. And those with the most money, influence, and power were always helpful to have on their side.

Some, like Mr. Tang, were easy enough to grow close with. Others took a little more work and connections. But their efforts were clearly paying off. At that very moment, they were casually speaking to Mr. and Mrs. Buxaplenty, the richest family in the area. Dressed in expensive and tailored outfits, the pair didn't have to say a word for everyone to realize how rich they were. As for when they did choose to speak, they spoke in a highly refined manner that less sophisticated people would describe as "snooty." These were exactly the sort of people who would be perfect associates. It would literally and figuratively pay to become their friends.

"The economy is so chaotic these days," remarked Mr. Buxaplenty. "At one point I was concerned our third private jet wouldn't have the gold trim on the wings. But I managed to come out on top."

"That would have certainly been a tragedy," Mr. Adams nodded.

While not quite at their tax bracket, the Adams family was still fairly well-off and both of them understood how to move in these social circles. It was mostly a matter of knowing how to react to various topics of conversation, learning tempting pieces of gossip, complimenting those in charge, and investing their money in the right resources. As long as they didn't waste their income on meaningless things, they could use it for more important purchases that increased their social standing. A nice car, a beautiful house, and tasteful clothes could help open a lot of doors. Of course, sometimes it helped to know more about the ones they were trying to impress.

Mrs. Adams noticed it first, a framed newspaper article on the wall of the rich family's home. It seemed to be about how the Buxaplenty were once shipwrecked on an island and almost immediately discovered valuable oil deposits and established expensive tropical resorts. The entire article was spent praising the entrepreneurs for their ingenuity in the face of adversity. The photo at the top depicted the couple standing together on the island, but there also seemed to a young boy off to the side that was nearly cut off by the edge of the photo. By the slightly-weathered expensive outfit, Mrs. Adams assumed he was related to the Buxaplenty.

They had a son. There was a potential commonality they could use. Many parents were enthusiastic about their children, investing so much time and money that they could have normally used for better purposes. But parents also tend to get along better with other parents, the common bond of having children uniting them. If the Buxaplenty couple possessed a son, they might be more willing to form a deep and financially-endearing friendship with other parents.

Perhaps for once they could actually make use of Amanda rather than have the girl sponge off them like a parasite.

"Is this your son?" she asked pleasantly, gesturing towards the framed article.

Mr. Buxaplenty leaned forward to peer at the image. There was a brief look of confusion, but he eventually nodded.

"Yes, I believe it is. That would be… Oh, what was it? Of course, that is Remy. He was with us when we were briefly shipwrecked. I remember now. He went in search of food at the beginning while his mother and I dealt with the money."

"Didn't he find a crab?" asked Mrs. Buxaplenty, frowning in thought. "Not that I expected it to be the same quality as Jacque's recipes, but he did try. The filthy thing crawled away before dinner. Thankfully, my quickly and newly-established resorts came with far better dining options."

Clearly realizing what his wife had in mind, Mr. Adams remarked, "We have a daughter at home. Perhaps your son would like a little playmate the next time you host a dinner party. I'm quite certain he would have more fun with another child than merely sitting around listening to adults talk."

Clearly not noticing or caring that the rich couple hadn't actually invited them to any dinner parties yet, Mrs. Buxaplenty said, "I suppose that would be a useful way to keep him out of the way while we're busy. He already has his pet ferret, but another companion should be all right. We shall see you and your… daughter?"

"Yes," confirmed Mr. Adams.

"We'll see you and your daughter on Friday around six o'clock," she continued. "It should be a lovely evening. I intend to buy another clothing store, so hopefully my ensemble will be the most fashionable and expensive yet."

* * *

Amanda couldn't stop smiling. It was a good day by any definition. She'd found out she'd managed to get a really good grade on her last test. Tootie waved at her briefly in the hall. Francis ignored the girl in favor of stuffing a strange boy named Mark into a trashcan, which his victim seemed to actually like. After school, she went to Timmy's house to play video games with him, AJ, and Chester. She even managed to win one of the rounds, surprising everyone. The brightness of the day almost made the recent upheavals and near catastrophe fade into the background like a distant nightmare.

The girl walked home, grinning cheerfully as she remembered the boys congratulating her on her success during the game. It was fun and she loved being included. Even now, the idea of having friends hadn't lost its novelty. Her thoughts remained on the pleasant afternoon as she finally slipped through the front door.

" _There_ you are," said her mother sharply, making Amanda flinch. "Are you trying to make us late? Hurry up."

She saw her parents scurrying around the house, dressed in their more formal clothes. Mom was trying to put her earrings in while she wasn't certain what Dad was doing as he hurried around with his phone and a tie in one hand. The pair also kept glancing towards her briefly with the most disapproving looks. Their expressions shriveled up her small stash of confidence.

Eyes dropping to the ground as she tried to shrink inside her sweater, the girl said, "I'm sorry. I was at Timmy's house. I'm really sorry. What am I… late for what? I don't know what you mean. Sorry."

Walking past her while looking at his phone, her father said, "We rented a dress for you so you wouldn't be an embarrassment when we arrive. I left it hanging on your doorknob. It will have to be returned in the same condition. Do _not_ damage or stain it. We don't need the extra cost of replacing it."

"So hurry up and change. And remember to stay on your best behavior and don't embarrass us," said the woman as she turned to leave.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know where we're going," Amanda said quietly, feeling increasingly anxious and wanting to escape to her room.

The girl could hear the annoyance in her parent's voice as her father said, "The Buxaplenty family is hosting a dinner party. They have a son who you _will_ be nice to. Hurry."

Knowing she wasted enough of their time with her questions, Amanda scurried to obey.

* * *

Floating near the ceiling while playing solitaire, Norm ignored the flurry of activity in the rest of the house. After all, his choices were ignoring the infuriating and heartless couple who didn't deserve the title of "parents" or blast the pair with magic, transform them into horribly-twisted monsters, and send them to Mars. It was one or the other with absolutely nothing between the two extremes. And, for the moment, the genie was trying to go for the more restrained option. So he purposefully and stubbornly ignored anyone outside the room.

He halted his card game as Amanda scurried into her room, the child carrying a purple mass in her arms. His questions about how her afternoon of video games went died away as he saw her confused and anxious expression. Her tense posture and the way her turtleneck was practically swallowing the girl reminded him of when he first met her. He vanished the deck with a quick _gong_ and turned all his attention on Amanda.

"All right, which one am I banishing to a lifeless planet? Turner, Braceface and Cueball, or the massive jerks that live in the household?" he asked, peering over his sunglasses. "And please don't say that none of them deserve an all-expenses-paid trip to Mars because _someone_ certainly upset you."

"I'm fine," she assured, her tone doing little to convince the genie. "I just didn't know Mom and Dad were taking me to a fancy dinner party and I'm making them late."

And that answered his question. The parents were to blame. Big surprise. Turner's friends weren't cruel enough to intentionally hurt Amanda and Turner liked her too much. Not to mention the boy knew better than to risk it. Her parents, on the other hand, didn't care about the idea of upsetting her and eroding away anything resembling self-confidence and self-esteem. Which completely explained her return to the shrinking violet posture.

Yeah, one of these days he was going to have to deal with them properly. And not just a bad case of the flu, but a _real_ solution. Something impressive and suitably satisfying.

But not today.

Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "Fancy dinner party? And they're taking you along? Why didn't you tell me about it, kid?"

"I didn't know until just now. But I'm supposed to go since the hosts have a son," said Amanda, holding up what turned out to be a purple dress. "See? They rented a dress and everything."

"A _rented_ dress," he said in a neutral voice. "Yeah, they're really making an effort this time."

"I have to hurry, though. I don't want to waste their time by making them late. They already wasted money on me with the new dress," she said.

Once again, Norm forced himself _not_ to send her parents to Mars. He still hated how deeply they imprinted the idea that anything they did for Amanda was a waste of time, energy, or money. She didn't assume that anymore with other people, like him and Turner. But years of being told the same thing made it hard to forget. He hated that his Amanda still thought that way, at least when it came to her parents. And he hated that she said it in such a casual manner, as if such heartbreaking words were so obvious.

But this wasn't the time for that conversation. He could address the inadequacies of the Adams' parenting style later. For now, he could sooth some of the anxieties of his former master and make sure she was ready for whatever the fancy dinner party might bring.

Snapping his finger, the girl went from holding the dress to wearing it with a _gong_. The genie, gritting his teeth briefly as he realized exactly how little they paid attention, also adjusted the size so it actually _fit_ Amanda. A second _gong_ changed the ribbon in her hair to a matching shade of purple and settled the style into a simple, yet elegant bun. It wasn't quite the Cinderella treatment, but it was a few minor touches that would help her look appropriate at the dinner party without making her parents wonder too much about how she pulled it off.

"There," he said. "And I guarantee you'll be the prettiest girl attending."

Smiling at her appearance, Amanda hurried to give him a hug in thanks. Unlike the first time she had this reaction, the genie didn't stiffen in surprise. He just returned the gesture while fighting the urge to ruffle her hair. He also didn't want to stop. He didn't want to release the child. He just wanted to hold on to his former master for as long as he could.

"Hopefully the dinner party won't be too dull," he said as he reluctantly let go. "But if things start going wrong or you want to liven things up like Turner might, I'll stay in the area. Just give me a call."

Nodding, she said, "I will."

He watched her run her hands across the straps of her backpack. She used to always keep Teddy in her backpack, but then she switched to carrying his lamp. Recently, she'd been alternating between the toy and his (replacement) lava lamp. At the moment was the lamp, so she certainly knew how to get in contact with him if necessary.

"Promise, kid?"

"I promise."

The genie smiled at her warmly, "That's my smart girl. Looks like you're ready for anything."

He watched her slip back out of her room, knowing she was heading back towards her parents. Cautiously, he tried to listen in on what happened. He wanted to hope that they would just take her to the car and not say another word to the girl. But luck didn't seem to be on his side.

The genie wasn't close enough to make out the exact words and didn't think to use his magic to enhance his hearing in time for it to be helpful, but he could make out the tone. The parents said something commanding and disapproving, which was followed by a panicked and pleading tone from Amanda that nearly provoked Norm into charging into the living room. Then he heard something that sounded almost angry from her mother and Amanda's voice fell into an apologetic and numb tone that suggested she was accepting her fate. It was a miracle that the front door slammed shut before the genie's self-restraint shattered.

He hurried into the room and found the source of the short-lived argument. Tossed carelessly on a chair by one of her parents was her backpack. They wouldn't let her take it to the dinner party. Norm muttered insults to himself. He should have expected it. No matter how much the girl wanted and needed some source of comfort and confidence, her backpack just didn't fit into the image her parents were trying to portray during a dinner party. So, given the choice between making their daughter comfortable and looking more formal, they would choose appearances every time.

He wanted to go to Canada. He wanted to head straight towards the country and give every inhabitant a pair of antlers. He wanted to freeze the maple syrup in the trees until they shattered. He wanted to take over their news stations and announce that hockey was outlawed. He wanted to torture Canadians in new and creative ways until he felt less revolted by Amanda's parents.

But he couldn't do it. He told her that he would stay close. And without the lava lamp, even if it was a replacement rather than the original, he would have to pay a lot closer attention in case she needed help. Norm couldn't let the girl down.

Her parents did that enough already.

"One of these days, they're going to Mars. They're going to Mars and I'm going to laugh at their misery. It'll probably count as a public service. And I'll record it as a warning for future generations so that everyone knows _not_ to treat Amanda like that," he muttered.

* * *

She felt so alone and exposed without her backpack. She didn't have Teddy. She didn't have the lava lamp. She didn't even have Norm floating beside her. Amanda couldn't help feeling so uncomfortable.

They pulled up to the biggest and fanciest house she'd ever seen. The girl couldn't imagine how long it would take to clean. She also couldn't understand how someone could live there without getting lost.

Whoever the Buxaplenty family was, they were clearly rich enough to afford a small army of servants since they encountered a lot of them on the way from the front door to the large room. Amanda couldn't help staring at the crowds of fancily-dressed adults mingling with each other and chatting about art, music, books, and the stock market.

"Mr. and Mrs. Adams," greeted a well-dressed man. "So glad you could make it. I take it that this is your daughter?"

"Yes," nodded Mom. "She's so eager to meet your son. She's been talking about it all week."

Before Amanda could ask why her mother said such a thing, the man replied, "Splendid. Wilson can show her the way."

Another servant in a tuxedo appeared almost like magic, giving a short bow, and turned towards one of the doorways. Uncertain what else to do, Amanda followed him. He led her through mazelike hallways, up spiraling staircases, and past numerous painting and statues. The girl couldn't help feeling like she was in a museum. By the time her feet started to hurt from all the walking, Wilson stopped in front of a door.

"This way, Miss Adams," he said, gesturing inside.

Nervously, she stepped into the room. It looked like a game room of some sort. There was an air hockey table, a basketball hoop and half-court to the left, a few arcade games that lined the back wall, and a giant-screen television hooked up to multiple game systems with a mountain of video games stacked neatly beside it. The only thing that didn't quite match the theme was the small cage with a purple ferret that instantly captured the girl's attention. She knew what odd-colored animals meant.

"May I present, Master Remy Buxaplenty," said Wilson, regaining her attention.

Remy appeared to be a boy around Timmy's age. That seemed to be the only _other_ similarity between the two. He wore a white dress shirt and jacket with a red bow tie and black dress pants. His blond hair was coifed and his posture was impeccable. Even after Norm helped her get ready, Amanda felt like a slob in comparison.

"That will be all," said the boy, sounding similar to his father.

"Very good, Master Remy," Wilson replied before leaving the room.

The boy stared at her briefly, his eyes scanning her boredly as if assessing her worth. Then he scoffed and turned back towards the room, clearly intending to ignore her presence.

"Why in the world would Mother and Father think I would want anything to do with some poor five year old girl, I'll never know."

"Um… I'm eight," she corrected quietly. "My name's Amanda."

Chuckling dismissively, he said, "That does not change the fact that you are both poor and a girl. The only thing worse would be if you were Turner. There is not a single reason why I should bother."

Frowning, she asked, "Do you mean Timmy Turner? He's my friend."

That managed to bring his attention back to the girl. Remy looked at her again, this time with a contemplative expression. After a few moments, he finally shook his head.

"No. I suppose I could buy and win your affections in order to steal you away from Turner, but it just wouldn't do enough damage to him. Whenever I strike back against him, it'll have to be much more impressive." He waved a dismissive hand, stating, "You're just an ignorant and useless distraction. Go beg on a street corner or whatever the poor do for entertainment."

"I'm not ignorant. Or useless," she muttered, believing it far more than she would have a few months ago.

Laughing scoffingly at the girl, Remy said, "Oh, really? Is that a fact? Very well then. Prove me wrong. Tell me something, _anything_ that might surprise me. Show me that you aren't completely ignorant, peasant."

She didn't like this boy. Not really. He was kind of rude and mean. An idea, one that sounded more like a suggestion from Norm than something she'd usually think of, appeared in her mind. He didn't approve of her letting people walk all over her. Norm would do it in a heartbeat. It would certainly surprise the boy and it might convince him to stop acting so rude.

Smiling at him in a way that wasn't _quite_ a smirk, Amanda said, "I know that your purple ferret is actually a fairy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Remember how I said some stories would end up multi-part stories? This is one of them.


	3. Dinner Party Pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remy is one of the characters I find interesting, but he's not a nice person and it would take more than a nice girl who wants to be his friend to redeem him. He's got some understandable and sympathetic backstory moments since his parents don't give him much attention or affection. They pretty much throw money at him like they do every other problem. Which is essentially the same strategy he uses to solve his problems too. 
> 
> One of his big problems, however, is how driven he is by envy. Not greed, but envy. It isn't enough for him to have something. He wants to make sure that no one else can have it. Even before magic gets involved, he buys all the tickets to a movie just so no one else can watch it. Then, when he finds out that Timmy has godparents, he decides that he couldn't stand the idea of him having fairies and loving parents. So he decides to risk Juandissimo in a magical duel solely so Timmy would lose them. And even when offered a chance to cancel the magical duel and call it a draw, he is too stubborn in his decision that he couldn't allow Timmy to have fairies. Later appearances have him plan elaborate schemes and even almost blow up Cosmo and Wanda, solely because he can't stand the idea of Timmy having fairies too.
> 
> Until Remy gets the concept that just because somebody else has something nice doesn't mean Remy is worse off somehow, he's not going to be able to form real friendship. That envy is going to get in the way every single time.

Sneaking into the fancy dinner party was laughably easy. Teleporting past the front door with a _gong_ , Norm slipped among the crowds of rich humans as if he belonged. He couldn't make his usual trench coat fit in with them, so he decided to go for something flashier and expensive. When subtlety didn't work, going over the top could sometimes be the answer. A swirling cloak of the finest materials did the same job of concealing his inhuman lack of legs and, when combined with a variety of glittering gems and gold accessories, it gave off the impression of being eccentrically-rich. And that was exactly the type of guests attending the party.

A quick glance around the room was enough for Norm to realize neither Amanda nor the mysterious boy she was brought to meet were present. He was instead stuck surrounded by snobby, annoying, gaudily-dressed humans who bragged about their belongings and laughed haughtily while servants wandered around with trays of food. The genie despised them. In his experience, these were the sort of people who were either the results of stupid wishes or the ones who would make the dumbest wishes possible. Either way, they were annoying beyond all reason. For the most part, Norm wanted to slip back out and search the rest of the house.

On the other hand, he was currently in the same room as Amanda's parents and there was no reason he couldn't enjoy a little retaliation. Smirking as he studied the pair across the room, Norm considered his options. Nothing too unusual or damaging, but he could still make them suffer a little.

Leaning close to the nearest bejeweled ear, he whispered, "I heard the Adams buy discount clothes."

Moving the next, he said, "Have you heard? The Adams might have to move to a trailer park."

Quietly and carefully, the genie moved around the room. In each receptive ear, he shared a different and newly-crafted rumor.

"The Adams wear plastic and costume jewelry."

"I heard the Adams are being investigated by the IRS."

"Supposedly, the Adams were arrested for shoplifting."

"Did you know that the Adams are cannibals?"

It didn't take long for the gossip to make its journey around the room, the whispers and glances proving that the couple was under close scrutiny. That managed to make Norm smirk more. All he needed was to give things a little push.

He watched patiently for one of the servers to move into position. Then he snapped his fingers. The _gong_ was mostly concealed by the crashes and shrieks of surprise as the tray of food spilled all over Amanda's parents.

As much as he wanted to watch the fallout, Norm left the room in the chaos. He'd been having fun for long enough. Time to find the kid.

* * *

Remy stared at her with a shocked expression, very similar and yet different to the one Timmy wore once when she revealed the same knowledge. Even if he'd been rude ever since she arrived, Amanda still felt an abrupt jolt of guilt. She didn't want to actually scare him. She just wanted to surprise him enough that he would stop treating her like an idiot.

Then his eyes narrowed suspiciously and he said, "Wait a minute… You're friends with Turner _and_ you know about fairies. And Jorgen isn't here… _You_ have a fairy godparent, don't you?"

"Me?" asked Amanda, blinking in surprise. "No. But I know about them and strangely-colored animals are a pretty obvious sign."

"No fairies? And yet Jorgen still hasn't burst in," he said. "How did you manage that particular trick?"

"A wish."

"And what exactly did Turner wish? How did that peasant arrange such a thing, allowing someone without fairies to know about them? What did he do?" he asked harshly, stepping closer with an angry expression. "Turner _always_ gets whatever he wants. Well, I won't let him. _I_ should be the only one who can bend Da Rules if I want to."

Stepping back, Amanda said, "He didn't do anything. I made the wish before I even met him."

"You _said_ you didn't have fairies," he accused. "Which part is the lie?"

"I'm not lying," said Amanda, feeling anxious and upset by his words.

"Then where did the wish come from? Tell me the truth and I'll pay you handsomely. Maybe even enough to buy yourself better companions that that Turner boy."

The girl's eyes dropped to the floor, unable meet his accusing gaze any longer. She was alone with an angry and confrontational boy with a disguised fairy. She didn't have Teddy or the lava lamp. She couldn't just fade into the background and hope no one noticed her. She just felt completely uncomfortable, nervous, and a little sad. And scared. She felt scared of the rich blond boy. Not a lot, but at least a little.

"Well?" he snapped. "Answer me."

He managed to startle a response out of her. It was just a single word, both the answer he sought and a desperate cry for help.

"Norm!"

_Gong!_

* * *

His search through the mansion didn't last long before a familiar and upset shout echoed down the halls. Norm didn't even hesitate to think. He just reacted, snapping his fingers.

Teleporting to Amanda's side with a _gong_ , the genie spared a moment to notice the expensive play area before focusing on the people in the room. His girl was obviously distressed, but she wasn't as badly off as she was when her parents were particularly heartless and Amanda was visibly relaxing now that Norm was present. Looking stunned by the genie's arrival was a blond boy in a white outfit and a red bowtie. The boy looked about Turner's age, but he was definitely in a different tax bracket and with better teeth.

But there was something else in the room. Magic. He sensed fairy magic.

" _Who_ are _you_?" asked the boy as he finally found his voice.

_Poof!_

Unsurprisingly, a fairy appeared in a cloud of smoke to glare at Norm. Black and flowing hair pulled back in a ponytail, a short goatee, a tan and muscular body, and a very tight white shirt, he looked like something from the cover of a discount romance novel. Norm vaguely remembered seeing the guy from Fairy Idol. He'd placed himself slightly in front of the boy defensively, confirming that he was the kid's godparent.

"Remy, mi querido ahijado, stay away from that embaucador," shouted the fairy.

"Another wand-waver who assumes the worst. Surprise, surprise," muttered Norm. "Did you purposefully buy your shirt too small or did they just run out at the Spanglish store?"

"What is going on, Juandissimo?" demanded the blond boy.

Crossing his arms, Norm said, "That's simple. Your fairy is worried about you getting too close to the 'scary' genie."

"A genie?" Remy said, looking rather intrigued. "The poor, nervous, peasant girl has a genie?"

Norm shoved his shades further up his face. He'd found the apparent cause of Amanda's discomfort. The snobby rich boy upset his girl. That was _not_ allowed. But figuring out the appropriate punishment would take a little investigation.

"Nice deductive reasoning, Sherlock," said Norm. "Amanda found my lamp and got the lovely prize of three, magical, _rule-free_ wishes."

Remy perked up at the key phrase just like Turner did. Getting the attention of a kid with fairies took a little more work than normal humans, but Norm understood now the proper way to tempt them. Let no one say he didn't learn from past experiences. Now he just needed to see how the boy would respond to the idea.

"Remy, I know that look," said the fairy nervously. "It is a muy, muy bad idea. Unlike my abs," he said, flexing his muscles enough to rip apart the shirt only to replace them with a _poof_ , "nothing good comes from being near genies, let alone making wishes."

Shrugging casually, Norm said, "He's right. Why risk dealing with strangers when you can just follow all those silly rules? Just because _some_ people can handle rule-free wishes doesn't mean you could."

"What are you doing, Norm?" whispered Amanda.

Grinning at her briefly, he said, "Don't worry, kid. I know what I'm doing."

"How much?" said Remy, turning towards the girl.

"What?" she asked.

"How much to buy his lamp from you? Name your price."

Amanda jerked back, frowning at the boy's words. For a second, Norm could have sworn he saw a flash of anger from his sweet kid.

"No," she said.

"How much?" repeated Remy. "Everyone has their price and I have need of a few rule-free wishes. Turner won't escape unscathed this time."

"Oh, another fan of Turner," Norm remarked dryly. "Why am I not surprised?"

"No," said Amanda, shaking her head frantically at the boy. "Even if it would work, I wouldn't do it. I won't sell my friend like he's a… an _object_. It isn't right."

The genie couldn't help smiling at that. He didn't think she would be the kind of person to do that anyway, but it was nice to hear it. There were plenty of masters in the past who would certainly sell him off without a second thought. Granted, those people were smart enough to wait until after their third wish, which meant only those who didn't end up with erased memories at the end actually knew what they were selling. But it did happen plenty in the past. So hearing Amanda assert that she would never do such a thing was still pretty nice.

Of course, both he and the girl knew it wouldn't work anyway. But that wasn't the point. The point was that Remy thought it would be effective and that demonstrated pretty clearly what kind of person he was dealing with. Norm knew this was going to be a fun show.

"Remy, please reconsider," Juandissimo urged. "This is not a wise idea. Genies are known for—"

"I know what I'm doing," the boy interrupted before turning back to Amanda. "I tried to do things the nice way, but you leave me with no choice."

Norm smirked. Another godchild who was ready to ignore his fairy's advice and involve himself with genies. It was like his first encounter with Turner all over again. All that was missing was the yard sale.

"Juandissimo," said Remy forcefully, "I wish for that genie's lamp!"

Reluctantly, the fairy lifted his wand (his shirt shredding briefly before being instantly replaced). With a _poof_ and a cloud of purple smoke, a very familiar lava lamp appeared in Remy's grasp. The boy then threw back his head and gave off a reasonably impressive evil laugh.

"Yes. Now Turner will lose everything. Nothing can stop me."

"Well, there is one little hitch in your plan, Captain Cash," Norm said casually. "I'm not going to be granting you any wishes."

Shock, confusion, and anger flashed across Remy's face as he said, "What? You _have_ to. I have your lamp. That's how it works, right?"

"Technically, yes," he nodded. "But not if the genie in question has been freed. And guess what?"

Norm rubbed at his bare wrists. He still wasn't completely used to the idea and the sensation. But he was happy about his freedom and didn't mind bragging about it a little to the snobby boy.

"At the moment, I'm here with Amanda because I _want_ to be. I don't have to grant her wishes either. I guess you're out of luck, Mr. Pennybags," continued Norm.

"Then let us take advantage of that luck and leave the genie alone," Juandissimo suggested, floating closer to the boy. "It is for the best. Trust me."

"Sorry," said Amanda, snatching the lava lamp from Remy with surprising speed. "But you still have your fairy, right? He still cares about you and will grant your wishes. You don't need rule-free wishes."

"Why should anyone have something that I don't?" said Remy. "You had rule-free wishes from a genie. Turner gets fairies _and_ loving parents. I won't stand for it. I shall make the world as I desire it to be. They'll lose everything."

The boy released another decent evil laugh to go with his short monologue. It was pretty clear that Remy had green eyes for a reason. Jealousy, the green-eyed monster, was fairly strong in this one. Norm saw a brief expression of resignation, nervousness, and affectionate exasperation.

"And this is why I've been spending so much time in Fairy World," Juandissimo muttered.

"If _your_ genie is useless for my purposes," continued Remy, pointing towards Amanda and clearly not hearing his fairy's words, "then I'll have to simply find another. Juandissimo, I wish for the lamp of a non-freed genie!"

"This is muy tonto, but if that is what you desire," the fairy said as he raised his wand.

An old bronze oil lamp appeared in the boy's grip with a brief _poof_. Norm subtly slipped his hands behind his back. Obviously Remy intended to learn his lesson the hard way, meaning someone might need to run damage control. And since the other genie would wonder why Norm was still with Amanda at this point, it would be easier to pretend he hadn't been freed yet. Juandissiom looked nervous, Amanda looked curious, and Remy looked eager and greedy. Yes, this could turn out to be entertaining.

The boy rubbed at the old lamp enthusiastically, grinning as smoke funneled out. With a _gong_ , the yellow smoke solidified into a more distinct shape. Apparently skipping the more traditional outfits for the species, the genie wore a backwards red ball-cap over his golden-yellow hair that put Remy's blond hair to shame. Furthermore, he wore a wrinkled white t-shirt that said "Make a Wish" on it. And just in case anyone doubted that he was a genie, the yellow smoky-tail and the gold bands on his wrists confirmed it.

Honestly, his entire ensemble was unprofessional in Norm's opinion. They didn't have a "required fez" dress code like fairies with their crowns, but there were still limits. They needed to make an impression on the chumps who grab the lamp. T-shirt and a ball-cap? That spoke of immaturity and inexperience. The genie was probably only 20,000 years old or something.

Pulling out a cue card, the blond genie read boredly, "Hello, insert human's name here. I'm Cal, the genie."

With a gong, a glowing sign saying "Cal: The Awesome Genie" appeared. Confidence was clearly not an issue with him. And, as seemed to be tradition for magically-created signs, the C flickered out before abruptly falling off. Cal, clearly unconcerned, snapped his fingers and vanished it with a _gong_. Then, apparently noticing the full extent of his audience, he blinked in surprise.

"Two kids, a fairy, and a couple of genies? This is like the start of a bad joke," remarked Cal.

"You're with Blond Boy, Junior. I've got dibs on the girl," Norm said, jerking his head in Amanda's direction. He then raised an eyebrow meaningfully. "So she's off-limits. I'm just taking a break to watch the show and maybe make a suggestion or two."

Cal raised an eyebrow in response before nodding slowly. Norm knew exactly what the genie was thinking. He assumed that Norm was working on something big to spring on his unsuspecting master and that he didn't want anyone to ruin it. And since that would keep Cal from bothering Amanda while protecting his barely-intact reputation, that was exactly what Norm hoped would happen.

"Please don't do this, Remy," begged Juandissimo. "You can't trust genies."

"You worry too much," he scoffed. "Genie, I wish that Timmy Turner would lose his fairies."

Norm didn't have to look to know Amanda was distressed about the idea. But he was already taking action to ensure the situation didn't turn into a disaster. Not to mention it would be funnier his way.

"And who exactly—?" Cal began to ask before Norm _gonged_ up a photo and whispered in his ear.

Cal quickly smirked at the suggested plan and nodded in agreement. Then he turned towards a nervous Juandissimo and an eager Remy.

"First wish, coming up," Cal said.

He snapped his fingers and the giant television screen turned on with a _gong_. On the screen was Turner jumping on a trampoline while firing a water guy at his trio of fairies in some strange variation of tag. The boy seemed to be having fun right until his fairies abruptly vanished. Remy cackled triumphantly as Turner looked around in confusion.

"Norm," whispered Amanda urgently.

"Give it a moment," he replied.

"It worked. It actually worked," laughed Remy. "He lost his fairies."

"That's right. They're definitely lost," Cal said smugly.

Almost as if on cue, the trio of fairies reappeared on screen. All three and Turner looked confused, but that was pretty standard for Cosmo at least. The green-haired godparent was staring at a map that appeared to be upside down.

"What just happened?" asked Turner, his voice coming over the speakers quite clearly.

"I don't know, Sport. We just suddenly ended up in Norway," Wanda answered.

Still looking confused, Cosmo said, "We were completely lost. The map was useless. It didn't even _mention_ buried treasure."

"I asked for directions from a local sea monster," Wanda continued. "We would have been back sooner, but we had to stop for a souvenir."

"Poof poof poof," added the infant, wearing a horned helmet on his head.

Shaking his head slowly, Turner said, "And the sad thing is that none of this is the weirdest thing to happen this month."

Cal turned the television off with a smug look as Amanda struggled to hold back chuckles. Meanwhile, Remy seemed to be almost shaking with fury.

"What just happened?" shouted the boy.

"Timmy Turner 'lost' his fairies," Cal said casually.

"No, he didn't. I just saw him and his fairies. Jorgen didn't show up, his memories didn't get erased, and they're still _with him_."

"He did lose them. For about a minute. You didn't specify how he was supposed to lose them or for how long. Which means I can grant it however I want."

"See, that's the difference between fairies and genies," remarked Norm, hands still casually folded behind his back. "They care about you and what you want. We are free to do whatever we want when it comes to granting wishes. Señor Shirt-Shredder _did_ tried to warn you."

Glaring at Cal, Remy said, "Fine. How much do I have to pay you to grant my wishes correctly?"

Neither Norm nor Cal could resist the urge to laugh loudly at the offer. Even Amanda looked vaguely amused, the girl clever enough to recognize the problem. She at least tried to hide the reaction from the boy, though. Juandissimo just looked like he wanted to grab his godchild and drag him out of there.

"Let's pretend for a moment that we actually needed to _buy_ something instead of just create it," said Cal. "We could just create the money."

"Unlike fairies, we don't care about counterfeiting, fraud, inflation, or messing with the economy," Norm continued. "So bribing us with cash, gold, or jewels is beyond pointless. Face it, you've got nothing to work with, Remy-Refund."

The boy was sputtering by this point, looking frustrated and angry. He wasn't even using real words by this point. It was just rage-filled gibberish.

"Wow, usually it takes at least two wishes to get someone this ticked off," said Cal.

Gritting his teeth tightly, Remy said, "If you need better wishes, then I'll make it work." Crossing his arms, he was silent for a moment. Then the boy said, "I wish for unconditional, unwavering, unquestioning, intense, and unending love and attention from parents who adore me."

Norm, against his will and to his surprise, felt a mild pang of sympathy for the boy. It was exactly the sort of wish that Amanda _should_ have tried. Her low self-esteem and selflessness ensured she would never try it, but it was the kind of wish she deserved to have. Regardless of the fact he apparently upset Amanda and his first rule-free wish was intended to attack someone else's happiness, Remy wanted Mommy and Daddy's approval just like she did. It wasn't enough for him to like the brat or anything. He just recognized that he shared a single issue that Amanda did.

"Love and affection from parents," said Cal. "I think I can make that happen. Wish number two, coming right up."

A snap of the fingers and a ringing _gong_ followed his words. A puff of yellow smoke appeared in the middle of the room. Even if Norm didn't know exactly what the other genie had in mind for this wish, he knew the hopefully look on Remy's face was doomed. That's what always happens, after all.

As the smoke cleared, the first clue about what happened was a soft bark. This was quickly followed by a whole litter of puppies scurrying around and barking. Little brown, black, and white creatures sniffed and ran around the room while their tails wagged wildly. And accompanying the small animals were two larger dogs. One that was brown and the other that was black and white, they had floppy ears and obviously cheerful dispositions. The brown one headed towards a stunned Remy to sniff his shoes briefly before licking him across the face.

If it wasn't for the sputtering and flailing from the boy, it would actually be kind of adorable. Like one of those cards with a goofy rhyme on the inside.

"What did you do this time?" Remy asked, trying to fend off both dogs now as they tried to lick his face.

"Well, you said 'unconditional' and 'unending' love," shrugged Cal, trying to look innocent while smirking. "That description always reminds me of dogs."

"But I said 'parents.' I wanted you to make my parents love me," he said.

"You didn't say 'your' parents. You just wanted parents who would adore you. The litter of puppies proves they are parents and they definitely seem to adore you," said Cal as one of the puppies tried to chew on the cord of the closest game system.

"That's not what I wanted."

"But that's exactly what you said," stated the genie.

Remy managed to shove one of the dogs away enough to glare towards Norm and say, "You tricked me. You wanted me to end up like this."

"I did want to see how you'd respond. I didn't think you'd ignore _all_ common sense and advice, but it is certainly educational. If it makes you feel better, Turner tried the 'make someone love me with magic' idea as his second wish too," he said. "The 'make someone I don't like miserable' plan was all you, though."

"Mi querido ahijado, I beg you to please end this before something worse happens," pleaded Juandissimo.

"You don't have to do this, Remy. You don't have to be mean to Timmy or try to force your parents to become someone they aren't," Amanda said quietly. "Magic doesn't solve everything. It can't make someone be your friend. It can't make them love you. Not really. Just stop making wishes so fast and just think about what you really need."

Remy didn't seem to care about his fairy's plea or Amanda's advice. He was too busy glaring at Cal and Norm equally. Even as the dogs and a couple of the puppies tried to nuzzle him, the boy was concentrating on his frustrated anger.

"This is all your fault. You want to ruin everything. You're doing all of this on purpose," he accused.

"Yep," said Cal. "There's a reason your fairy friend said not to trust us. Genies are famous for turning your wishes into chaotic messes. Of course, most people make dumb wishes anyway and that makes it so much easier."

"Are you calling me 'dumb'?"

"Not directly, but considering how easy it was to ruin your wishes…"

"Shut up," snapped Remy. "Just go away and leave me alone."

Smirking, Cal said, "It doesn't work like that. Once you make the third wish, I get forcibly sucked back into the lamp. Which is _loads_ of fun. But until then, I get to hang out with you, the canines, and all your little buddies."

Yep, this was definitely reminding him of the first encounter with Turner. And combined with that tiny flicker of sympathy for the snobby boy, he knew what he had to do. It would probably do some serious damage to his reputation, but at least Amanda would approve. Norm slowly floated a little closer to the fairy. Juandissimo looked uncomfortable with the proximity, but he kept in place and didn't try to move away.

"Remy, I implore you to make a simple wish to be rid of the puerco genie," Juandissimo said. "Something that he cannot twist or that would be easy for me to fix later. Please, mi querido ahijado, do this for me."

For the first time all night, the boy seemed to listen to his fairy godfather. The anger and frustration faded from his face. Then, with a sigh, he nodded.

"Very well," said the boy.

"Really? You're going to waste your last rule-free wish?" asked Cal.

Remy reminded, "All of them have been wasted thus far. Why should the last be any different?"

And for the first time since he'd met the snobby boy, he was out-doing Turner when it came to genie-handling. Turner fell for the trick the first time, not wanting to give up on the last wish. Remy at least saw the trap in front of him. Perhaps the boy had experience with tricks already, either by causing them or falling for them repeatedly in the past.

"Very well," Remy continued. "Genie, I wish that the various dogs in this room return to wherever you brought them from."

"As you wish," said Cal, grabbing the bronze oil lamp from his hands.

When the younger genie snapped his fingers, Norm did the same thing behind his back. The resulting _gongs_ overlapped enough that it sounded like one. The canines all vanished without a trace while Norm kept his newly-summoned backup plan behind his back. If Cal was half as clever as he was acting, Norm suspected he would need it.

"Now you may depart," said Remy, giving the genie a meaningful look.

"Right," he nodded before glancing towards Juandissimo. "Hey, fairy. Catch!"

With a quick motion, Cal tossed the oil lamp towards the startled godparent. Juandissimo didn't seem to know how to react, but Norm was expecting it. Swinging his newly-summoned tennis racket from behind his back, he hit the lamp perfectly. The return serve sent the oil lamp back towards a startled Cal, who caught it on instinct.

"What?" gasped the younger genie.

"No exchanges and no refunds," Norm said. "Sorry."

And before anyone else could react, the lamp's power grabbed a hold of Cal and forcibly pulled him back inside. It was impressive for just a moment and then the bronze object fell to the floor with a slight tink.

"What was that? What did you just do?" asked Remy.

"Saved your Spanglish-speaking fairy," Norm said. "Though I'm not entirely sure _why_ I bothered…"

"Saved me from what?" asked Juandissimo.

"The whole 'sucked into a lamp' thing works by targeting the closest source of magic," he said. "And if he managed to trick the lamp into grabbing you instead, he'd be free and you'd be stuck. Trust me. I tried it on Turner and his fairies when we first met. Worked like a charm until the boy got creative."

"Thank you, Norm," said Amanda, hugging the lava lamp close.

"Why?" asked Remy, a look of confusion on his face. "Why would you save Juandissimo?"

"Because you're a jerk that upset Amanda, tried to buy me, and couldn't even bother to use Cal's name while making pretty dumb wishes," Norm said, "but you're also an idiotic kid who apparently wants half-decent parents. Plus, Amanda is too nice for her own good and would probably want to rescue your fairy afterwards anyway." Crossing his arms, he said, "That's just what she does. So next time you decide to be mean to a kid just because she doesn't have as much cash to waste as you or because she has something you don't, remember this. Because I could have just let you and your fairy deal with the consequences."

"Gracias, Señor," said Juandissimo, actually sounding reasonably grateful. "I cannot imagine what would have happened if I was separated from Remy permanently."

"You care about him a lot," Amanda said. "And he might not always listen, but Remy cares too. Right?"

"What's your point?" muttered Remy, his expression making it clear he wasn't completely comfortable at the moment.

"A lot of the things you seem to want and get upset about other people having… I know what it is like not to have them," she said. "But instead of always looking at what other people have and getting jealous, maybe you should be happy with what you _do_ have. Like Juandissimo. Isn't being happy better than being mad all the time? And maybe if you learn to be nice to people and treat them like people instead of trying to just buy them or their things, you'll get other people to like you too." She shrugged, "I don't know a lot about being friends. I didn't used to have any. But that's what it seems like to me, at least."

Remy looked away, staring at a corner of the room fiercely. He wasn't saying that he agreed with the girl's words, but he wasn't loudly dismissing them either. Whether or not the snobby boy would consider the idea of change, Norm didn't know. Amanda was good at making people change for the better. The genie was certainly aware of it. But it wouldn't happen unless Remy decided he wanted something more.

Regardless, Norm was finished with dealing with annoying rich people for the day. And since he doubted that Amanda's parents even noticed or remembered they brought their daughter with them, he didn't feel the need to make her stay any longer.

"Come on, kid," he said gently. "Let's get you home."

He snapped his fingers and they vanished with a _gong_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cal the genie is my newest creation. Don't expect to see a lot of him, but at least I came up with another male genie. Most of the ones that have been mentioned or shown have been female so far (mostly as potential dates for Norm). I thought it was only fair to add another guy. He's also younger than Norm. He isn't quite the equivalent of a teenager genie, but he's reasonably close. Like between 18-23, maybe?
> 
> And though I haven't taken a Spanish class in years, I still remember a little and I have a few of my assignments left over that I can use for research. So it was interesting to do Juandissimo's dialogue since he likes to sprinkle in a little Spanish every now and then. He does truly care for his godchild (he defied Da Rules and risked everything to return the boy's memories to him, after all), but there are times where he does have to get away from Remy's envious and vengeful attitude. Hence why he shows up alone in Fairy World so often. I also assume that he got involved in Fairy Idol, not because he didn't have a godchild, but because he wanted the chance to show off his good looks and such. And maybe get Wanda's attention.


	4. Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for another episode to this story. And, surprisingly, this one isn't focused on Norm or Amanda. After all, there are other characters that exist in the story and sometimes they get to have some spotlight. 
> 
> It isn't a long chapter, but I wanted to touch on events from a specific episode of the show. Specifically, this chapter was influenced by the episode "Bad Heir Day." I always felt that the events of that episode should have had at least a slight effect of the characters. 
> 
> This chapter is set not long after the last one. Like maybe a couple of days or a week. Hope you enjoy this.

Crocker couldn't resist the urge to laugh manically. It was actually pretty therapeutic. Not that he actually needed therapy since he wasn't crazy. No, he wasn't crazy. He was completely and utterly sane. He was probably the sanest person in the world. He was the one who knew the truth and the one who would someday prove it.

And that day was soon. This time, it would work. This time, he would succeed. This time, he would capture some _**fairy godparents**_ and prove it to the world. He would prove he was right and not just crazy.

He'd worked hard on the plan. He'd spent hours in the Crocker Cave perfecting it. He would have spent more time on the project, but teaching a bunch of children five days out of the week took up a lot of his free time. But he managed to make it work. This would be the plan that ultimately changed his life. All he needed to do was install it upstairs and bait the trap. Of course, normally bait was something that the target _wanted_ , but it would still keep the _**fairies**_ exactly where he needed them.

Crazed laughter echoed throughout his underground base. Crocker was excited to enact his plan. This time nothing would get in his way. Nothing would stop him.

* * *

Did his crazy teacher _have_ to assign the hardest and most excessive assignments ever? Did he have to create an impossible test with about one hundred questions and an essay? And no multiple choice questions either. Even AJ struggled slightly with it.

Timmy knew Crocker was evil, but this definitely proved it. The only thing he did that could be considered reasonable was when Crocker said they could stay as long as they wanted to finish it. It meant that plenty of his students missed the bus that evening. But everyone was slowly trickling out as they managed to either figure out the answers or surrendered to the inevitable "F." Soon it was only Timmy, his disguised fairies, and Chester. Even Crocker had grown bored and left.

"I think I can feel my brain melting out of my ears," moaned Timmy dramatically, his head dropping to his desk with dull thud.

"I don't _see_ anything," Cosmo remarked quietly from his place on the desk, disguised as a green pencil.

Wanda, disguised as a pink pen, said, "That's a metaphor."

"Would a meta-five or a meta-six be better?" he asked. "Isn't this a math test?"

"Science," corrected Timmy, reluctantly prying his face off the desk. "That's why AJ got finished in ten minutes and Mark in fifteen. After he finally stopped laughing about the backwards and primitive 'science' on the test."

"He _does_ come from a more advanced alien race with access to faster-than-light space travel," Wanda reminded. "Humans haven't managed that yet without magic."

"At least humans aren't scared of chocolate. And don't burn from signs of affection like hugs," he muttered.

"He's building up a slight tolerance to it. His Fake-i-fier still fries when he's hugged, but _he_ doesn't freak out as much," she pointed out.

"Great, give him a few decades and he might be able to touch chocolate. But none of this really matters because Crocker's test is pure evil," muttered Timmy darkly.

Disguised as a purple eraser, his little fairy god-brother said, "Poof poof poof poof."

"Okay, maybe 'pure evil' is a slight exaggeration," admitted Timmy. "It isn't as bad as Bob, but this is still pretty bad. I've been here for hours after the bell rang and I'm _still_ not done. The only other person still here is Chester."

"Done," announced Chester cheerfully, bolting out of his desk and dropping his test on the pile.

"What? How?" Timmy asked in shock. "I've still got about twenty questions to do."

"Easy. I answered every other question as 'photosynthesis.' I figure at least some of them would be right," he said. "Either I'll be right or I'll get an 'F.' Regardless, I get to leave. Good luck, Timmy."

With that cheerful declaration, his friend ran out the door to escape to freedom. His footsteps echoed as he ran down the empty hallway, the entire school practically abandoned. Even the janitor was done for the day. All that remained was Timmy, his fairies, and the Test of Doom.

"That's it," groaned Timmy. "Crocker is the evilest teacher in existence."

Changing back to their more usual forms with a _poof_ , his trio of fairies floated above his desk. With no one around to witness their presence, there was no reason to remain disguised. At least they could properly keep him company until he was done with the evil test.

"Poof poof," scolded the infant fairy.

"And what about that substitute teacher? Ms. Doombringer?" Cosmo reminded.

Dropping his head on the desk again, Timmy said, " _Fine_ , he isn't the evilest. But that doesn't mean I'm happy about this."

"You know, Sport, you'd probably be farther along if you kept working instead of dropping your head like that all the time and groaning about the test," said Wanda gently.

"Ugh…," he complained stubbornly at her words, reluctantly sitting up again. "This test is impossible. I'm pretty sure no one in the universe other than AJ and maybe Mark would actually know the answer to question eighty-two."

"Pumpkins?" suggested Cosmo helpfully.

Timmy opened his mouth to dismiss the idea, but ultimately blinked and closed his mouth. He then tilted his head and reread the question.

"Huh… Actually, that might be right," he said, honestly surprised.

As the boy scribbled down the answer, Wanda peered over his shoulder and said, "Cosmo was right? How did _that_ happen?"

"I don't know," said her husband with a shrug. "Maybe I'm getting smarter. Or maybe I'm just really, _really_ lucky."

"Probably the second one," Timmy said, moving to the next question.

"Yay, I'm lucky!" cheered Cosmo, throwing his hands up in the air. "I wonder how long it'll last."

An abrupt clang, some rapid rattling, and a loud crash interrupted them as something large fell out of the tile ceiling. Timmy tumbled out of his desk as he stared in shock at the metal cage that now contained the entire front row of the classroom. This seemed far too familiar. With a feeling of suspicion and annoyance, he looked behind him. As he thought, there was a long handle attached to the cage. And that meant it wasn't exactly a normal cage.

"Not long, apparently," mumbled Cosmo uneasily.

"Oh, come on," Timmy complained. "This isn't fair. This is the third time in the last few months. And this one shouldn't even count! Yeah, it _vaguely_ looks like a butterfly net, but…"

"Unfortunately it seems to count," said Wanda while clutching her wand close, her voice tinged with the same panic being trapped in a butterfly net always caused the fairies. "I already tried using magic to get out."

"Great… And it is way too heavy to lift and scissors aren't going to cut it this time," muttered Timmy before adding, "No pun intended."

Trying to hide behind one of the other desks and failing completely, Cosmo asked, "So what are we going to do?"

Honestly, Timmy didn't know the answer. He was worried about the fact he and his fairies were currently trapped with no way to escape. He was worried they were about to be exposed. And he was worried about what Crocker would do now that he caught them (because his crazy teacher was the only one who would try this). But he was also annoyed and frustrated by the entire situation.

It was scary when Crocker trapped them with the rocket-powered butterfly net after it chased them all across the school grounds. It was scary when the pixies and anti-fairies trapped his fairies under a butterfly net and intended to shove them all into lava. And it was scary when Bob created a butterfly net in the strange landscape and could have easily destroyed them. But now it was happening again and it was losing some of the scariness. Yeah, he would need a blowtorch to get out of this one, but the sheer frequency of this scenario was more annoying than anything. Couldn't his enemies at least be more creative or space out their attacks a bit more?

Shaking his head to banish the distracting annoyance, Timmy tried to focus. He needed to either hide or free his fairies before Crocker decided to check his trap. Jorgen gave them a little leeway with Crocker's suspicions about fairies since the crazy teacher was stubbornly insane. As long as Crocker couldn't _prove_ what he suspected/knew about which children had fairies and didn't hear an actual confession, Jorgen ignored the man. But finding Timmy trapped under a net with a trio of fairies would definitely be pretty definitive proof that he had fairy godparents.

Unfortunately, the cancelation of magic under a butterfly net meant they couldn't disguise themselves as school supplies again. And there weren't really that many places to hide. And unless he could chew his way through metal or dig his way through the tile floor very quickly, there didn't seem to be much he could do to get out.

"Maybe we'll get really, _really_ lucky and Amanda will show up with Norm to break us out again," he said hopefully.

"Amanda went home hours ago," said Wanda.

"I was really, _really_ lucky before when I got the question right," Cosmo said. "Maybe I'll be really, _really_ lucky again."

"Ah- _ha_!" shouted Crocker as he jumped through the door, pointing a declarative finger towards the cage-like butterfly net.

The trio of fairies diving behind Timmy to hide as best they could, Cosmo mumbled, "Maybe not."

"This is it!" Crocker continued to shout. "I've done it. I knew it. I knew someday I would find proof of _**Fairy Godparents!**_ " The man flailed wildly, crashing across his desk and sending the stack of tests flying. "I knew this would be the plan that finally worked perfectly. Oh, what a glorious day. Mother would be so proud of me if it wasn't for the fact that she sees me as a complete disappointment. Oh, well. She and everyone else who ever doubted my sanity will soon be eating their words. Years of searching, years of ridicule, and years of increasingly-elaborate schemes have finally come to fruition. No one will ever forget the name Denzel Crocker!"

"Cro _cker_?"

Timmy was too busy with his futile effort to keep Cosmo and Wanda semi-concealed behind his back that he wasn't able to grab Poof as the smaller fairy abruptly flung himself out of hiding. Startled shouts from his parents and god-brother weren't enough to stop the infant as he positioned himself directly in front of the teacher with a sad and confused expression on his face.

The boy wanted to grab Poof and drag him back, but he also couldn't risk exposing Cosmo and Wanda. And the grip on them behind his back was the _only_ thing keeping his godparents from going after their son. He also wanted to make up an excuse or a flat-out lie that would explain his god-brother as something other than a baby fairy, but his mind was drawing a blank. His fall-back excuse of "the internet" would be useless.

He was going to lose them. He was going to lose his fairies. He was going to lose his family. And the only thing worse than just losing them would be if Crocker tried to use his fairies for one of his schemes. He couldn't do or say anything to fix this.

The only thing Timmy could hope would be that Amanda would be able to talk Norm into freeing them if Crocker tried to keep them. Norm hated Crocker, so it might work…

Then Timmy noticed that Crocker wasn't talking anymore. He wasn't ranting or raving. He wasn't even moving. The man was just staring silently at Poof. His expression was impossible to read.

"Poof, get away from him," hissed Wanda.

"That's not how you hide, Poof," Cosmo added, sounding worried because even _he_ was aware of how serious the situation was.

"Cro _cker_ ," Poof repeated, shaking his head. "No, Cro _cker_."

The man stared at the small fairy silently before closing his eyes and shaking his head. Timmy didn't think it was possible for the hunched-back man to slouch any further, but he managed. Timmy was afraid to say anything or move, not certain what was going on exactly or what would set his insane teacher off again. This was turning very strange.

After several moments of silence, Crocker opened his eyes again and straightened. He was blinking a little faster than before and wasn't looking towards them. He just turned and stared at the wall, as if he suddenly became very interested in the blank surface.

"Oh, dear," Crocker said in a dull and restrained voice. "It seems I made a silly mistake."

"What?" said Timmy, unable to help himself.

"I seemed to have made a mistake. There are no fairies here. My trap must have failed," he continued, purposefully not looking towards the metal butterfly net or the contents. "I guess that happens sometimes. I suppose the best thing to do would be to clean everything up and go home. There's no reason to stay here when it is clear that there are no fairy godparents around."

That scared Timmy far more than anything else about the evening. The calm and restrained voice the man was using wasn't normal. Not only was he ignoring the clear presence of fairies right in front of him, but he was talking quietly. He even said the words "fairy godparents" without flailing and screaming the words. Crocker never acted like that calm and controlled. Even if he was crazy or stupid enough to ignore the evidence of his own eyes that he obviously caught fairies, there was no way he would be quiet about it.

Pulling out a switch from his pocket, the man walked towards the exit. As he reached the doorframe, he stopped. He didn't turn around to face the confused captives. He just stared away firmly.

Then, so quietly that Timmy almost didn't hear it, Crocker said, "Bye, DJ."

With those mysterious words, he pressed the button and walked away as the cage-like butterfly net rose back into the ceiling. Timmy watched the structure cautiously, wondering if it would be dismantled or it would stay above the classroom until the next time Crocker wanted to trap someone.

"What just happened?" asked Cosmo as he and his wife eased out from behind Timmy.

"Not a single clue," the boy said. "What was that all about, Poof?"

The small fairy smiled and said mysteriously, "Poof poof."

* * *

He couldn't do it. He couldn't let something happen to little DJ. That was the entire reason he gave up Denzel Junior in the first place. DJ was a baby fairy, after all. Denial could only do so much. And a baby fairy deserved to be with other fairies. So he let DJ go back then. And he let him go again.

Crocker forced himself to walk home. Hopefully the exercise would wear him out and he'd be able to sleep when he arrived. He was so close to his life-long goal and he turned it down. He had proof, but he let them go.

He might not have known DJ long, but he did care about the small baby. Even if DJ was a fairy, he couldn't bring himself to harm a single hair on his round head. And when faced with little DJ, or "Poof" as those whispers he tried to ignore called him, Crocker made the same choice a second time. He chose DJ's well-being over his happiness.

In the end, he might someday capture Turner's _**fairy godparents**_. He hoped so. But he couldn't capture DJ. Crocker's father essentially didn't exist during his childhood and his mother never had time, but he still vaguely understood the importance of having parents who loved you. So even capturing the other two fairies and leaving DJ alone wouldn't be an ideal solution. Everything was crumbling apart before his eyes.

But he couldn't give up. He'd spent decades trying to achieve a single goal above all else. It was hard enough positively identifying a child with fairies. Most of the time, he barely got suspicious of one before everything abruptly seemed perfectly normal around them. His memories of those occasions were a little fuzzy, though. He figured they just grew up too quickly to keep fairies around. Adults didn't have them, after all. And kids grew up so quickly these days. But Turner definitely had them and they seemed to stay longer with him. It made him the perfect target. And now that he had victory so close, he couldn't surrender.

There had to be something in between the extremes. There had to be a middle ground. He couldn't give up on capturing fairies, but he also couldn't take all of Turner's fairies either.

Maybe he could consider other children who might have fairies. Or maybe he could just capture one of Turner's fairies. One parent was better than none, right? That way DJ wouldn't be completely alone.

There had to be something he could do. There had to be another way. He couldn't give up. Not after trying for so long and coming so close.

But whatever he finally decided, he wouldn't hurt DJ. He might be a bitter, strict, overly-obsessed, and malicious teacher who derived pleasure from the mental and emotional suffering of his students as a method of dealing with his own inadequacies from years of rejections, failure, and Mother's nagging, but he still had a shriveled heart somewhere in his chest. And he did care for little DJ. So letting his desire to capture fairies harm him was something that Crocker refused to allow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you recall the events of "Bad Heir Day," Crocker ends up with Poof temporarily and semi-adopts him as an heir. And they were rather sweet together. And when Crocker figures out Poof is a fairy (and going into denial by saying that Poof was "transformed" into a fairy), he actually sends Poof back to Turner's house so he could be with other fairies. Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda never find out about this entire sequence of events, but it was actually pretty cute. I just wanted to touch on that topic. Crocker still wants to capture fairies, but he doesn't want to hurt "Denzel Junior."


	5. Overdue Conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you're really going to enjoy this next part of the story. I know I am. This is something that I believe a lot of my readers (and the characters) have wanted to happen for quite some time. 
> 
> I've been arguing with myself for quite some time about whether or not to delay this chapter and have some other stuff first. I wouldn't want to risk everything to come after this to be a disappointment. It'll be hard to top this.
> 
> But ultimately, I want this to happen. You want this to happen. Norm, Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, and possibly even Jorgen want this to happen. So it is going to happen.
> 
> This is set a few days or a week after the last chapter, just in case that's helpful. But it is more important to know that this is some time after the dinner party at Remy's house.

Amanda excitedly slipped the lava lamp into her backpack. It was the weekend and Timmy invited her over that afternoon, saying something about learning to snowboard. She wasn't sure if he planned to make a snowy mountain in his bedroom or would _poof_ them to one, but he promised it would be fun. And cold. So she made certain to pack her gloves.

She looked around her room one last time in case she was forgetting anything. Norm was floating near the ceiling, flipping casually through a magazine. Sometimes he smirked or chuckled at a page, but he mostly read silently as she hurriedly straightened her room.

"Got everything you need, kid?" asked Norm, peering over the edge of his magazine.

"Yes," she said, nodding enthusiastically.

"Good. And if Turner does something extra dumb and dangerous, call me," he instructed. "He really doesn't think before he acts. You do. You have some common sense. So have fun on your play-date with Turner and don't get caught in an avalanche or another disaster he manages to cause."

Smiling at the genie, Amanda shook her head ruefully. He would never get along perfectly with Timmy, but the insults and comments weren't nearly as harsh anymore. That was at least an improvement from the beginning. She could live with that.

"I'll be careful," she reassured him. "I'll be back soon. Have fun while I'm gone."

He gave a small wave as Amanda opened the door and slipped out. As she headed towards the living room, she heard her parents' voices ahead of her. She found herself hesitating for a moment, but ultimately proceeded forward. Hopefully she wouldn't bother them too much on the way to the front door.

They were standing near the couch, arms folded as they talked. Amanda debated going straight across the room, but she didn't want to distract and bother them too much. Going around the edge of the room would take a little longer, but would likely not catch their attention. That was the better choice.

"I just don't know why no one has contacted us since that dinner party," her father said, sounding frustrated. "We went to make more social contacts and connections, but no one has said a single word to us since."

"Well, it wasn't the greatest dinner party ever. With the way that clumsy server ruined my dress, I doubt we left the most appealing impression on them," her mother said.

Amanda remembered they did seem upset after they returned from Remy's house. They were stained with spilled food and agitated, but neither of them seemed to realize that she'd made it home without their help.

It was a little… _unfair_ they took her along and then left without trying to bring her back with them. Norm took her home, but they didn't know he would take care of her. She didn't want to bother them. She didn't want to waste their time and energy. She would have never worried or thought about it before. But now… she couldn't help thinking that it wasn't… _right_. Maybe she… deserved _better_.

The idea almost felt rebellious to her. She quickly tried to bury it. But she'd stopped moving towards the front door. Something was keeping her in place.

"Not even the Buxaplenty couple has contacted us," her father continued, "and we took the girl specifically to play with their son. You would think they would appreciate the effort on our part. She probably did something to upset him and that's why they haven't tried to reach us."

"Of course she ruined everything," said her mother. "She can't do anything right. I don't know why we even bothered with her in the first place."

Amanda realized too late that she'd spent too much time with Norm. It was like when Remy kept belittling her, provoking her to scare him briefly with her knowledge of his fairy. But this time her reaction was even more impulsive and more foolish. Her mouth spoke before her mind could realize what she was doing.

"I _didn't_ do anything wrong," Amanda said. "And you left without me."

Both of the adults abruptly stopped their conversation and turned towards their daughter with expressions of pure shock. They probably didn't even notice she was present. Just like when she stood up against Remy, Amanda instantly regretted her actions. She cringed back from their gaze and pulled her turtleneck up. It didn't help much.

" _What_ did you say?" asked her mother sharply.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she stammered. "But I… I didn't… I'm sorry, but I didn't do… I was good. I tried to get along with R-remy. And… and you _did_ leave without me. I'm sorry, but it's t-true."

Her father's expression shifted to one of annoyance and displeasure. Her mother looked a little angry. Amanda, unable to stand it any longer, dropped her eyes towards the ground.

"Are you saying that somehow this is our fault?" he asked, his voice rising with each word. "Who wasted their hard-earned money renting you a dress? Who took you where they were serving fancy and expensive food?"

She didn't actually get to eat anything at the dinner party. She ate take-out with Norm afterwards while he complained that Cal was uncreative when it came to twisting wishes and that he could have done better in his sleep. Then she'd poked him with her chopsticks while pointing out he'd helped a fairy godparent and he threw a fortune cookie at her head in mock retaliation. But Amanda didn't say a word about any of this to her parents. She just stood there cringing, regretting that she'd said anything earlier.

"You just don't know how to appreciate how lucky you are," her mother said. "We do so much and you can't even do one little thing to us. All you had to do was make a good impression on their son and you obviously couldn't even manage that much right. I don't know why I'm surprised. You've never been anything but an annoyance."

"I'm sorry," Amanda mumbled reflexively. "I'm sorry. I tried. I did. I'm sorry."

"Honestly that's all you ever do. You act like nothing more than an unwanted drain on our finances," complained her father. "You take up far too much time, energy, and money. And what do we get in return? Nothing."

The child cringed further into her turtleneck and said quietly, "I'm sorry. I'm trying… I try not to waste... I try to help. I'm sorry."

"I don't care what Mother thought. We should have just gone ahead and put her up for adoption when she was born," her mother said, no longer even speaking to Amanda. "It would have saved us a lot of trouble."

"She would have cut you out of any inheritance, remember?" said her father. "That's why we didn't go through with it back then."

"Considering how much she's cost us over the years, it might have been worth it," she said, both of their voices very loud and agitated by this point. "Or we could have simply not told Mother when I ended up pregnant and prevented all of this annoyance from the beginning. But now it is far too late and we're _stuck_ with a useless waste of time, energy, money, and my patience. Everything would have been much better without her around. I hate that we're stuck dealing with _her!_ "

The last sentence was so loud and forceful that Amanda thought it almost sounded like a crash as she cringed and tried to hold back tears. Only silence immediately followed, surprising the girl since her parents had clearly been only getting more worked up before. They shouldn't have fallen silent like that. She reluctantly blinked away the worst of the moisture and slowly looked up.

Her parents looked stunned and a little frightened. They were also looking in her direction. No, they were looking past her. Towards something behind her. Something that clearly surprised and scared them a little. Only when gentle hands settled on her shoulders did Amanda realize that she'd apparently missed hearing a _gong_.

"Norm?" she asked quietly, confused by what was happening.

"It's all right, kid," he said from his position behind her.

His voice was tense like a bowstring pulled taut and she could feel magic in the air but she felt herself relax. Yes, he wasn't supposed to really be seen by anyone. But it wasn't against the rules. He didn't have rules. And he was a free genie now anyway. And he said it was all right. He would take care of everything. She trusted Norm. If he wanted her parents to see him, then he must have a good reason.

"Go on to Turner's house. Have fun and don't think about anything except snowboarding with him. I'll handle this," he continued in the same tense voice.

Amanda wanted to turn around and hug him. It would make her feel better. But she could tell that he wanted her out of the house as quickly as possible. He wanted her away from all of this. So, without turning to face Norm, she hurried towards the front door and practically ran out of there.

* * *

Don't kill them. Don't kill them. Don't kill them.

Norm reminded himself repeatedly that he couldn't kill the two heartless monsters. Well, he probably _could_ , but he knew that Amanda would somehow blame herself for it. And they'd done enough damage to her without adding the guilt of their deaths.

He'd been struggling to control himself the instant he heard the voices from the other room. The genie imagined sicknesses, accidents, and other various subtle revenges he could inflict, trying to distract himself away from rash action. But he'd finally hit his limit. He was officially _done_. It was time for Mr. and Mrs. Adams to learn their place.

He was thankful the pure surprise and minor fear from his abrupt arrival in their living room kept the pair silent and still until Amanda left. He could have used magic to keep them in place, but this was easier for everyone involved. Only after the front door closed did they seem to shake off the paralysis of shock.

"Who… Who are you? What are you doing in our home?" snapped the man, taking a step forward in an attempt to look intimidating. "I'm calling the police right this—"

"Sit _down_ ," snarled Norm, tossing aside his shades.

The force of his anger, which had been building and boiling for months, startled them into obedience. The husband and wife sat quickly on the couch. The genie floated in front of them, just high enough off the ground to make himself look taller as he loomed over the pair.

He glared down at them, looking at them far more closely than he usually bothered. Both had brown hair like their daughter, though the man had a mustache. There might be some similarities in appearance to Amanda, but not enough to make Norm hesitate about what was going to happen next. No matter what they looked like, they lacked their daughter's kindness and generosity. If it wasn't for their similar features, he wouldn't be able to believe they were related to his girl.

He could do so much to them. He could do things that he would never dream of doing to the population of Canada. He didn't even need a lot of magic to make them wish they'd never been born. Not to mention he could grant that wish (though that would run the risk of a paradox and/or wiping Amanda from existence). He could make them suffer in ways that no mortal could even imagine. He could do it. They deserved it.

But not yet. He had a different outlet for his anger at the moment.

"What do you want? Are you here to rob us?" the woman asked, sounding anxious.

"No, I'm not here to rob you. _Fez_ , are all human adults complete _morons_? A guy appears out of nowhere in a cloud of colored smoke, floating around with no legs, and you think he's some common thief? _No_ ," he shouted. "I'm a _genie_!"

He'd been mad at Anti-Cosmo, the Head Pixie, and the others for trying to kill Amanda, but that was different. That was a colder fury. Cold, cruel, and focused. He'd kept in control. He'd only had a short amount of time to be angry with them and he'd known revenge would be better if he'd kept his fury on a leash.

This was different. The anger had festered too long. He'd been growing more upset with them over the months. They'd been chipping away at his Amanda's small spark of self-esteem and self-worth. They never threatened her life, but they'd done so much damage over her entire life. He'd watched and listened, letting everything burn brighter and hotter with each instant that they treated her as worthless. Now it was time to let his anger burn free.

"A genie? They're just a myth," scoffed the woman.

Norm snapped his fingers and everything in the room except for them and the couch vanished with a _gong_. The skepticism abruptly evaporated. And as an added bonus, the desire to thrown their coffee table at their faces was gone.

"Okay, perhaps the myths have a kernel of truth," the man said, some of the fear fading to be replaced with greed. "And if I recall correctly, you are supposed to grant three wishes. I—"

" _No_. No more wishes. I don't do that, especially not for you. Now _shut up_ and listen," Norm interrupted with a snarl. "My lamp belongs to Amanda—"

"The lava lamp?" interrupted the wife. " _I_ bought that. That means those wishes are ours."

Norm vaporized one of the throw pillows with a _gong_ , silencing the woman and restoring the fear to their faces. Good. They should be scared. His glare burned into the pair as he ignored the scorch mark on the couch from the former pillow.

"The wishes were never yours. They were Amanda's wishes," he said, his voice dropping to a dangerous hiss. "And she already used them. She freed me."

"She wasted the wishes? She should have used them for us." Mr. Adam looked furious as he said, "That stupid girl can't do anything right."

Fed up with the interruptions and their attitude, Norm grabbed the front of the man's collar and yanked him off the couch. Holding him above the ground by several feet, the genie glared right into his abruptly-terrified face.

" _Shut up_ and _listen_ for once in your pathetic lives. Amanda is the _only_ reason why I haven't sent you to Mars yet. Or turned the blood in your veins to molten lava. Or turned your entire body inside out. Or a thousand other gruesome deaths that I could easily accomplish. If you even _think_ of interrupting me again, I will show you exactly _what_ a human can survive when I don't care about their condition afterwards."

Norm dropped the man back on the couch beside his properly-frightened wife. He then took a moment to try and compose himself enough that he wouldn't do something Amanda wouldn't like. There was nothing he could do to the pair that he'd actually regret, but he would regret how Amanda would react if she found out if he went too far.

"I don't know how you two can be so blind and self-centered that you don't realize it, but Amanda is the kindest, nicest, most selfless and wonderful human that I've ever met in my entire life. She's someone special and precious," he said, growing momentarily calmer as he thought about her. "She an exception to everything I've known about humanity. She deserves to be happy, appreciated, and loved."

His expression then darkened as he stared at the confused adults on the couch. They just couldn't understand what he was talking about. They didn't understand why someone would think the girl had value and worth. The idiots were in such denial that they truly couldn't recognize the unique and amazing person their child was. It was sickening that they refused to even see something so obvious.

"You may be her parents, but Amanda is mine. She's my former master. She's my friend. She's my kid. She's my Amanda," he said sharply. "I've been watching you. I've see what you've done. I've heard what you say to her. And I. Don't. _Like it_!"

His hand lashed out and a section of wall was disintegrated with a _gong_. The Adams couple looked terrified, apparently realizing that the gaping hole could have easily been them. _Good_. They should to be scared. For everything they'd done to hurt her, destroying anything similar to self-worth or confidence, they should be afraid of him.

But they didn't look guilty. There was fear, but no guilt. They were afraid for their lives, but they didn't regret how they treated her. They didn't care about her.

"You insult her. You belittle her. You complain about her very existence. You tell her she's nothing but a waste of time, energy, and money because you're too selfish to even notice what an amazing person she is," snarled Norm. "You tell her that you never wanted her. You tell her that you wished she'd never existed. You make her feel guilty for anything she might want or need. You ignore her kind nature and even complain when she tries to be generous towards you. You hurt her."

"We've never laid a hand on that girl," said the woman. "Never."

Norm sneered, "Really? You think all pain is physical? You think all suffering comes from bruises or cuts? You broke her heart and her spirit a thousand times until she didn't believe she deserved anything. She thought she didn't deserve happiness. Didn't deserve to have friends. She didn't think she even deserved to be upset when her entire life was a miserable and lonely mess. She didn't think that the way you treated her was wrong and that she deserved it. Newsflash, mental and emotional pain isn't really any better than physical pain. She was still hurt."

"She's fine. She's just complaining about nothing for attention," her husband said. "You're overreacting. Besides, what does it matter to you? You're not responsible for dealing with her. I'm the one who's stuck with her."

The genie struggled not to physically strangle the man. Why did these humans have to be so thick-headed and stubborn? The idiot just didn't get it. And the wife didn't look she cared much either.

He really wanted to go for the Mars option. Or maybe he should turn them over to the anti-fairies or the pixies to play with. Or just trap them in the core of the planet for a few centuries.

"You just don't seem to get the concept. I care about Amanda," he said sharply. "I like her. I take care of her when you idiots ignore her and forget about her. I want her happy. I want her have everything she deserves in life." He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I _don't_ care about you. I _don't_ like you. You don't _deserve_ Amanda. You deserve horrible and prolonged suffering. And I really want to remove you from existence."

Norm wasn't sure what his face looked like at the moment, but it was apparently pretty effective at getting his message across since the two humans paled. Maybe they were starting to get his meaning a little. Or at least they were realizing how dangerous he was and how much he hated them.

"I have the power to do it too. I have no rules, but plenty of anger and practice at ruining everything. I could make you disappear without a trace, remove all memory and sign of your pathetic lives. No one would miss you. No one would mourn you. No one would care. No one would even notice you were gone because to them, you were never there in the first place. It would be _easy_. And do you know the best part? I wouldn't even lose a minute of sleep over your fates. I've done worse to less-deserving people."

He let the terror and dread sink in for a moment. He wanted to savor the look of pure and utter fear for their pathetic lives. If he couldn't make them feel guilty, he would have to make sure the terror would be enough. Norm let them tremble and shake in the face of his hatred and fury because they clearly lacked the capacity to regret how they treated their daughter. He let fear consume their thoughts as they faced what could easily be oblivion.

"But I'm not going to do that," he said finally. "Amanda wouldn't want me to. Even after everything you've done, she still cares enough about you that she wouldn't want you to suffer that fate. So here's what I'm going to do instead."

He snapped his finger and restored the room to how it looked before with a _gong_. Then a second _gong_ returned his sunglasses to his face. He glared over the top of them.

"I'm going to erase your memories of this little encounter. You're going to forget about all about me and this chat. But the next time you start to say something cruel or heartless about Amanda or towards her, you'll remember the fear you're experiencing right now. You won't know why you're scared, but you will be terrified of treating her the way you've been doing so in the past."

He knew it wouldn't last forever. Without any real source of danger or a specific reason to be afraid, they would eventually ignore the warning. They would stop being afraid. And that would likely lead right back to them being heartless jerks.

But it would give him some time at least. It would give him a chance to calm down and start thinking again. Right now, it was taking a lot of willpower to restrain himself from more lethal and cruel actions. This was merely a temporary measure to stop them for a while. He could use that time to consider other options. Otherwise he might fall back on his "send them to Mars" strategy after all.

He snapped his fingers. A _gong_ rang out as their memories and the genie both vanished. And with that particular task done and not all his anger quenched, Norm headed towards the only destination he could focus on at that moment.

Canada wouldn't know what hit it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Norm finally says exactly what the audience has been thinking since the start. Man, writing his rant towards Amanda's parents was fun. You might hate reading about their behavior, but imagine how I felt writing the jerks. I really wanted to punch them at times. This was pretty therapeutic.
> 
> Yeah, I really liked writing this chapter because it was past time to make them suffer at least a little. I stayed up past midnight to complete it because I was enjoying it so much. So hopefully you'll find it at least a little satisfying.


	6. Alien Royalty Pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, I better address the elephant in the room. The new season of "Fairly Oddparents"… What can I say about it? While I'm not a fan of Sparky, the fact that he hasn't been mentioned at all so far that I've seen is a bit rude. Come on, if you're going to add a dog to the show and then get rid of him, at least give an excuse for his absence. Not to mention a lack of Poof's presence. Consistency and continuity are both important things to try and work on. They could at least acknowledge their existence some.
> 
> Then there is Chloe Carmichael. I am not so cruel as to immediately bash the character nor am I so conceited as to compare her to Amanda. After all, they have very different personalities. And I suppose there are some ways to view the girl in a positive light. They aren't treating Chloe as a love interest so far, which is a nice change of pace. And the idea of the human population growing faster than the fairy one to the point where it might be necessary to start sharing fairies could theoretically become an issue (though I like my personal theory that this is Jorgen's attempt to try weaning Timmy off his fairies since he's already had them longer than most kids manage). As for those who think her life is too great to qualify for fairies, I just want to point out that we haven't seen her parents at all so far. She might be a nicer Remy with lots of stuff and neglectful parents who are never around for all we know. We honestly don't have enough info at the moment. She has potential to be an interesting and nice character to balance Timmy while also providing chances for him to be the wiser, more experienced wisher.
> 
> Of course, I have low hopes that the cartoon will take advantage of her potential as a character. But she does annoy me less than Sparky did. Just don't expect to see her in this story.
> 
> Okay, now with that out of the way, it is time for another chapter. And this one should be interesting. It takes place around the same time as the last one. While Norm terrorizes Amanda's parents, this will cover what Timmy, his fairies, and Amanda are up to in the meantime. So please enjoy.

"Let's see… Coats, gloves, scarves, boots, snowboards… I think that's most of it," said Timmy, reading over the checklist. "Sounds like our snowboarding trip is right on schedule."

"I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun with Amanda," Wanda said as she tugged a hat on Poof's head. "She's not tried it before, right?"

"Good thing it isn't too dangerous or else Norm would get mad," added Cosmo cheerfully.

Timmy had to admit that his fairy godfather was right. If Norm was overprotective of her after the Christmas fiasco, then the Bob incident definitely made him paranoid about the girl's safety. For a jerk genie who once hated humanity, he could be strangely caring and nurturing towards the girl. Funny how the world worked.

But he wouldn't be coming on the trip. It was the kids and fairies only. So Timmy and his god-family were waiting for Amanda in his room, ready for a fun afternoon. And there would be no sarcastic comments to interrupt things.

"Poof poof poof," said the fairy infant cheerfully.

Smiling, Timmy said, "Yes, we can build a snowman while we're there."

There was a soft knock at the door, prompting all of them to glance towards it nervously. The lack of immediate entrance suggested it wasn't his parents, but it never paid to take chances when it came to his secrets. He wouldn't lose his fairies from something as silly as his family's lack of boundaries.

"Who is it?" called Timmy.

After a little hesitation, a quiet voice answered, "Me."

"Amanda, come on it."

The girl slipped into the room, quiet as a mouse. Instantly, Timmy knew something was wrong. From her body language to her facial expression, she looked upset. The girl was definitely upset, possibly to the point of crying recently. Amanda was sad about something that just happened and he needed to do something to fix it. He needed to make it better. Both because she was his friend and because he didn't want Norm to blame him for what happened.

"Are you all right?" asked Wanda.

"I'm fine," she said.

Timmy didn't believe her. And a quick glance around proved that Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof were equally unimpressed. She needed to seriously work on her acting. If she couldn't even convince _Cosmo_ that she was fine, then she really wasn't all right by any stretch of the imagination.

Amanda needed a distraction, something fun and cheerful. They needed something to take her mind off whatever was bothering her. If she wouldn't share what was wrong, he could at least make her feel better. He just wasn't sure the snowboarding trip would be enough.

The window and surrounding wall abruptly exploded out, providing all the distraction he could possibly want. Everyone dropped to the ground, dodging the shrapnel. Timmy felt a flicker of annoyance at the destruction of his room, but only a small amount. It wasn't like this was the first time it happened.

Once the worst of the noise and chaos died down, Timmy lifted his head. There was a huge hole in his wall that was currently occupied by a familiar saucer-shaped spaceship. He saw the door open and the ramp lower into his room.

"Timmy _Turner_! You, like, gotta help me."

He wasn't even slightly surprised when a large, green, octopus-shaped alien with a brain dome came scurrying out of the spaceship. If the spaceship didn't already inform him who was crashing in, the panicked voice definitely made sure he was aware.

"You don't have to break into my house to ask for help, Mark," snapped Timmy.

"You're _Mark Chang_ from school?" Amanda asked in clear recognition of the name and voice, raising her head to stare with wide eyes.

Blinking in surprise and cringing back, Mark said, "Uh, why is there an unnerving and creepy stranger in your room? Is she going to make my eyes boil in their sockets or burn the flesh off my face?"

"Creepy? Me?" she asked, sounding confused and a little hurt.

"Hold up, everyone. Introductions time," interrupted Timmy, stepping between the two.

"Okay, I'm Cosmo," his godfather announced cheerfully. "Nice to meet you."

Ignoring the fairy for the moment, Timmy continued, 'Mark, this is Amanda. She's my friend and she goes to school with us. She won't hurt you. Amanda, this is Mark. He's the prince of Yugopotamia, though he's been hiding in disguise on Earth for a while. The big thing to remember with Yugopotamians is that they have opposite reactions and views to humans. Beauty, sweetness, and cuteness are ugly, disgusting, and scary. They love the taste of garbage and candy is poisonous."

"So when Mark called you creepy, that means you're adorable," said Wanda.

"Oh…," Amanda said thoughtfully.

Timmy nodded with satisfaction. He sorted out that small mess pretty easily. Now he could address the bigger issue.

"Timmy, what was that suspiciously destructive sound?" asked his father from the hallway. "The one that sounded vaguely like an extraterrestrial vehicle smashing through a wall?"

"Uh… a vacuum cleaner?" he suggested.

"Oooh! You're cleaning your room? Your mother will be so pleased."

He breathed a sigh of relief as the man's footsteps faded away. Okay, _now_ he could address the bigger issue.

"What exactly do you need help with and is it important enough that you had to smash through my wall?"

Mark's expression shifted back to being one of concern and distress. He wrapped his tentacles around Timmy desperately, lifting him to eye level. The pressure was a little uncomfortably tight, but not to the point of suffocation.

"It's awful, bro. It's the worst thing since the hideous Man-Die. You've got to help me. You're, like, the only one who can."

Wiggling in the tight grip and trying to pry the tentacles off, Timmy asked, "What? A cute fluffy bunny hopped into your spaceship?"

"Don't even joke about that," said Mark, shuddering at the thought and dropping the boy. "Now I'm going to have nightmares…"

Brushing off his clothes, he said, "Focus. What's the big emergency?"

"Someone is trying to take the throne and future leadership of Yugopotamia away," wailed Mark. "I'll be disinherited, mocked by everyone on the planet, and executed by being wrapped in brightly-colored fuzzy blankets and force-fed chocolate."

Timmy blinked in surprise. That definitely qualified as an emergency. The last person who tried to take over that planet was Princess Man-Die, the violent psycho who would've tried to conquer all other planets with her new forces. Including Earth. Keeping the current rulers in power was safer for everyone.

Not to mention the whole "kill Mark" thing. Murder generally counted as an emergency.

"I think we better hear the rest of the story," said Wanda.

"Yeah," he said, twiddling his tentacles nervously. "The beginning of the story might help. Like, there's this really, really, _really_ old law that almost no one remembers anymore. I certainly didn't. But apparently if the competence and suitability of the heir to the throne is, like, seriously called into question and that doubt is supported by some kind of evidence, they can get rid of the heir and the next in line takes their place. Unfortunately, my cousin would be next in line to the throne after me and he found that dusty old rule."

"And he's getting rid of you so he can someday be king," said Amanda.

"Not a lot of family loyalty," Cosmo remarked.

Shaking his head at the very unpleasant inner workings of royal politics of an alien culture, Timmy tried to figure out what he was going to do. Wishing to simply undo the cousin's actions might not work. It might just delay things, letting the Yugopotamian do the same thing later. And rewriting laws with magic usually ended badly. He needed to actually think this through. He didn't want another Bob incident so soon. He could make this work without causing a disaster. He just needed to slow down and think for once.

"Why don't they think you deserve to be the prince anymore?" asked Amanda.

Mark rubbed the back of his head awkwardly and said, "A few things. Like, running away from an arranged marriage and hiding on a different planet to avoid my bride. And, like, choosing to stay here afterwards. Mother and Father have been calling it a traveling abroad experience and saying that it'll give me perspective or something for whenever I become king. But my cousin, Dave, doesn't buy it. He says I've gone native or something and he's making sure everyone else thinks I'm doing something wrong."

Timmy cringed a little. They were trying to get rid of Mark and probably kill him with candy… And the reason for that was simply because Mark chose to stay on Earth. That wasn't fair.

And it was especially unfair because the only reason why Mark even knew about Earth at all was because Timmy made a wish. He made a wish once for an alien to use in a game with A.J. and Chester and his fairies transported Mark. And then Mark fell in love with Vicky almost instantly. And from that point, Mark kept coming back to Earth until he finally stayed. So his current problem could be traced back to wish he made a long time ago.

Ugh, he hated when guilt decided to hit him. It wasn't like anyone could have predicted all of this, but he still didn't like the idea that it was even slightly his fault. He definitely had to help or Wanda would give him the Look later.

"Is there any good news?" asked Timmy.

"I did find a loophole," Mark said. "A couple of even more obscure laws. I can challenge the decision through a contest of champions. Whoever can summon and command the most powerful, terrifying, and unbeatable champion is, like, clearly the best choice for a leader." He gestured towards the boy and said, "And that's why I need your help. I mean, how could Dave beat you? If I, like, show up with Timmy Turner, the Earth warrior who eats the dreaded chocolate, I'm sure to win."

That left the boy feeling divided. He wanted to help Mark. And the first time he faced a Yugopotamian challenge, it involved skipping through some flowers, hugging a teddy bear, and eating a chocolate bar. Basically, it was a walk in the park. On the other hand, the second time around involved having Mark aim laser blasters at him in Death Combat. When it came to Yugopotamians, there was no way to guess how easy or hard it would be.

A curious thought crossed his mind and Timmy glanced towards Amanda. She looked concerned for Mark, but her previous sadness no longer seemed to be an issue. Whatever upset her earlier was forgotten in the face of someone else's problems. Timmy doubted that the snowboarding trip could distract her as much as this.

Working with that idea and his desire to help Mark, Timmy asked, "What exactly does your champion have to do? I wouldn't have to fight anyone, right?"

"Nah, just show up and be impressive," Mark assured. "No fighting necessary."

"Fine," said Timmy before turning towards Amanda. "Do you want to take a quick trip to another planet? We can reschedule our snowboarding trip for another day."

"Okay," Amanda said quietly. "I'll try and help if I can."

Floating closer to them, Wanda said, "That's great, but who wants to tell Norm we're about to take her a million million miles away?"

"And that's the exact distance. I measured it once," added Cosmo helpfully.

"We won't tell him until we get back," he said dismissively. "If we leave the lava lamp here, Norm won't even notice we're gone."

He spotted a brief look of discomfort cross Amanda's face. After knowing her for a little while, Timmy knew she rarely went anywhere without the lava lamp. It made her feel better to keep it close. But he also knew she felt similar comfort from another familiar object.

"I wish Amanda's teddy bear was here!" Timmy said firmly.

With a _poof_ , the small stuffed animal appeared and Mark screamed, scrambling away in terror of the cute toy. Timmy rolled his eyes and quickly switched the teddy bear out for the lava lamp. The alien relaxed a little once the toy was hidden in her backpack, but kept eyeing the container suspiciously. It was as if Mark half-expected the stuffed animal to crawl out of her backpack and attack him when he wasn't looking.

"Yeah, _maybe_ we should do something about her," said Mark. "Spending time here means I'm getting used to the creepy and horrifying things you have on Earth, but the other Yugopotamians will be terrified of her."

"Uh… Sorry?" Amanda said.

"Let's see. Well, she'll probably fry my fake-i-fier pretty fast," said Mark, tapping a tentacle against his face thoughtfully. "Maybe something simpler. Something that won't short-circuit at the worst possible moment."

"Oh, pick me. I have an idea," Cosmo declared.

With a smile, the fairy raised his wand and waved it with a _poof_. A white sheet with eye holes appeared over her head. As far as Timmy could tell, Cosmo decided the best disguise was to provide the most stereotypical and basic ghost costume. It was the sort of thing that someone would wear trick-or-treating when they were pressed for time and had no other options. It seemed so plain and basic that Timmy couldn't help laughing a little. Amanda responded with a few giggles of her own.

"Okay, that's better," said Mark with a smile. "And now let's get on my ship and get going." Throwing his tentacles in the air, he shouted, "Road trip!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a bit short, but it is being broken into a two-parter. So you'll get to see more in the near future. But I wanted to do something with Mark Chang finally. I couldn't fit him into the main story's plot (sort of like I couldn't with Remy), but now I can bring him in and give him an appearance for the story. I hope you're enjoying his episode.


	7. Alien Royalty Pt 2

Amanda wondered if she would ever get used to the strange and wonderful things that magic brought to life. Without magic, she wouldn't have met Norm, made friends, or realized that maybe her parents weren't always right. And now she was in an alien spaceship on her way to a distant planet.

"You know we could have just wished there," said Timmy while Amanda looked around the place curiously.

"Sh- _yeah_ , but it won't make, like, the same first impression," Mark said, punching the last of the necessary coordinates. "Trust me. This is better."

"Timmy, why is Mark allowed to know about Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof?" asked Amanda, peering through eyeholes of her sheet.

"He's not human, so apparently it doesn't count," he said. "Though the fairies and Yugopotamians apparently knew each other in the distant past. Part of that prophecy was written in an ancient form of their language…" He shook his head briefly and said, "Jorgen mostly just worried about humans finding out. Not aliens."

"Poof poof poof?" asked the fairy infant, _poofing_ up a toy rocket.

"I'm sure Queen Jipjorrulac will play with you while we're there," Wanda assured him.

"Mother did seem to like him last time. She said he was so hideous and terrifying, he almost looked pleasant and appealing," said Mark cheerfully.

Which meant that he was cute, but she liked him anyway. Amanda was starting to get the hang of how the Yugopotamians thought. There seemed to be some stuff that was backwards and opposite, but she could figure it out. She did have a question, though.

"Your mother's name is Jip… Jipjorrulac, but your name is Mark and your cousin is Dave. Those names are pretty different."

Rubbing the back of his head awkwardly with a tentacle, Mark said, "It's a generational thing. Like, one generation has long and complicated names and their kids will have short names. And then _their_ kids will have long names. It, like, alternates with each generation. My grandfather was called King Ryan." Smiling dreamily, he added, "And someday, when my beloved Vicky agrees to be my future queen, we shall have a fierce warrior with a name like Klejarrix or Zurropllock. Or, if she's a terrifying daughter like her mother, Nerrvicykkar."

Timmy shuddered and Amanda couldn't blame him. Vicky was a scary teenager. But considering the weird way that Yugopotamians viewed the world, an evil babysitter might be the perfect girl for him.

"Focus on not getting murdered by your cousin. You can talk about your complicated sometimes-girlfriend later," said Timmy. "What do I need to do when we get there so you get to keep your throne?"

"It isn't my throne yet and I don't want to be king for, like, a long time," Mark corrected. "But I don't want someone else to take it away forever either."

"And kill you with chocolate," reminded Cosmo.

"Right," he said. "Since Dave is the challenger, he'll present his champion first. Then, like, I show you off to everyone and make my cousin wish he'd never tried to steal my title."

"If Timmy is supposed to win by looking impressive, maybe he should dress the part," suggested Wanda, twirling her wand meaningfully.

Amanda saw the boy brighten at the suggestion. Striking a dramatic pose, Timmy gave a nod. The fairies raised their wands and a cloud of brightly-colored smoke swallowed him with a _poof_. When it dissipated, he was wearing a white costume that Amanda recognized from the Crash Nebula video games.

"I remember that," Mark said with a smile, pressing a couple more buttons on the control panel. "You wore that the first time we met."

"Back when you tried to steal mine, AJ, and Chester's brains using bendy straws," said Timmy dryly.

Still smiling, he said, "Yeah, those were the days." Mark then cheerfully announced, "We're here. Welcome to Yugopotamia, Amanda."

The spaceship landed smoothly and the ramp lowered. After making sure the white sheet covered her completely, Amanda followed the group out. There didn't seem to be any plants on the rocky surface and the sky definitely seemed darker than on Earth. Of course, it might just be the middle of the night. But since they were supposed to be attending a contest thing, she doubted it. Not far from where Mark parked the spaceship was a large stone shape that was either a coliseum-type of thing or a huge crater from a meteor crashing into the planet. Either way, a lot of Yugopotamians were heading towards a large entrance in the side of it.

Four more octopus-shaped figures quickly approached them with welcoming expressions. Two of them were larger Yugopotamians the same shade of green as Mark and were probably adults. One of them had a black beard, carried a scepter, and wore a crown underneath his clear dome, which Amanda quickly determined must be the king and Mark's dad. And that meant the one with the lipstick must be his mother. The two other Yugopotamains looked closer to Mark's age. But while she could see that one looked blue with braces and the other was pink and very short, Amanda couldn't guess who they were supposed to be.

"Mother! Father!" Mark greeted enthusiastically. "Jeff! Erik! You're all here to support me."

"But of course, my son," said the king. "We plan to support you fully right up until Dave defeats you and we start supporting him."

Glaring at his parents, Mark complained, "Do you not have confidence in me? I brought Timmy Turner, the Earth warrior who eats the dreaded chocolate. How could Dave possibly win?"

"Sorry, bro," said the blue Yugopotamian. "Dave's champion is really scary. Erik and I don't think even the human can win. He's going to totally crush your champion."

"Harsh. What happened to our friendship?"

Erik shrugged and said, "You haven't talked to us in, like, forever. And Dave gave us some awesome nuclear waste. Not much competition. We'll still miss you, though."

"The support of your loved ones is very overwhelming," said Timmy dryly.

Amanda had to agree with him. Weren't friends supposed to stand by each other loyally? And shouldn't his friends and parents believe in him? Her mom and dad didn't, but this was completely different. This was someone else. Maybe this was another Yugopotamian thing.

"Poof poof poof," greeted the fairy baby, floating over towards Queen Jipjorrulac.

She smiled and said, "Hello again. Do you want to join me and Grippulon in the royal observation booth? We can play rocket while waiting for Mark's champion to be utterly outmatched. It'll be a nice distraction from our son's coming execution."

"Come on, I'm a great champion," Timmy complained. "I beat your challenges when we first met, won your death combat, and saved your planet a couple of times. And that's just the stuff I've done around you guys."

"Yes, but Dave's champion is scarier," said King Grippulon. "Come along."

The Yugopotamians turned and headed towards what Amanda finally decided was a huge crater converted into an arena. And as they all entered, she got a better look. Rows and rows of seats surrounded the empty space below. Hundreds of octopus-shaped aliens waited eagerly, a few holding signs and flags with the face of an unknown Yugopotamian. King Grippulon and Queen Jipjorrulac broke off at one point, leading Poof to some kind of theater booth with a large television screen above it. Jeff and Erik followed a little further down the staircase, but even they eventually picked some seats and ordered asparagus from the concessions guy. Amanda followed Mark, Timmy, and his godparents as they filed their way to the bottom of the arena.

The television screen instantly showed their images. Whispers about "Earth warrior," "Timmy Turner," and "chocolate" filled the air. Amanda shuffled nervously under the sheet, uncomfortable with being near the center of attention for so many strangers. Taking care to stay hidden from view, she managed to pull Teddy out of her backpack and hugged him close for comfort.

"So, where's the other guy?" asked Timmy. "Shouldn't he be here?"

"My dear, traitorous, cowardly cousin, the soon-to-be-former Prince Mark," a rather smooth and malicious voice said. "How kind of you to grace us with your presence. I fully expected you to run away to yet another primitive and quaint planet. That's what you do when you encounter a problem, isn't it? Run and hide?"

A figure cross the arena, dragging what looked like a huge cage with a dark sheet draped over it. He was another Yugopotamian, a little taller than Mark and more of a teal color. He also seemed to have a black, curly mustache. Amanda had recently learned from the cartoons that Timmy likes that the people wearing mustaches like that are probably evil. He was older than Mark and definitely didn't look as friendly.

"Yes, I ran away from the wedding to Princess Man-Die," acknowledged Mark. "But she was hideous and I did not love her. But that does not make me a coward or a traitor. Unlike you, Dave. You are trying to murder the crown prince of Yugopotamia. Does that not sound, like, more of a traitorous thing?"

Chuckling, the older Yugopotamian shrugged and said, "Execution by chocolate, not murder. I didn't write the laws. I just read a bunch of them. How could I pass up the opportunity? A chance to take the throne and get rid of the competition? Besides, everyone knows you've gone soft. Living on that backwards planet, courting that _female_? Her entire species is barely evolved and lacking any kind of gelatinous form. She's practically some dumb wild animal."

" _Hey_ , no one talks that way about my beloved Vicky!" snarled Mark, looking practically murderous. "She loves me and I have the scars to prove it. And she's more violent, fear-inducing, and deadly than anyone in the entire universe."

"I can vouch for that," Timmy said, placing himself between the two cousins before they could come to blows. "But how about we leave my babysitter out of this and get back to the whole contest of champions. You remember, show off who picked the best champion to represent them?"

Still looking very furious with his cousin, Mark nodded and said, "Right. Our champions."

"You know this contest is just delaying the inevitable. It would have been easier to just accept your fate with dignity and be executed. You have to face facts. You're not fit to be ruler." Dave smirked and continued, "I've already won over most of the population."

"By bribing them with gifts," said Timmy. "That's cheating."

"That's politics."

"It still isn't nice," Amanda said quietly.

Dave glanced in her direction and frowned in confusion, as if he was just now noticing her. She knew she was good at blending into the background, but she was on an alien planet and wearing a sheet like a ghost costume. It was a little harder to not be noticed in those circumstances. But apparently she managed.

"Who or what is that?" he asked, pointing a tentacle at her.

"A secret," said Timmy quickly. "You brought something covered in a sheet too."

Dave nodded and said, "True. But that's because I didn't want my champion to frighten my future citizens before it was necessary."

"You locked your champion in a cage?" asked Wanda. "Are they dangerous?"

"Of course. What kind of champion isn't dangerous? That's the whole point," Dave said. "And we all know who your champion is, my weak and worthless cousin."

Looking a little nervous, Mark said, "What do you mean? I could totally surprise you with my choice."

"Whenever you are too useless to solve a problem, we all know that you instantly beg one specific human to protect and help you. You always need Timmy Turner to save the day. So all I needed to do was find a champion more impressive than that human. And that's just what I did." Smiling in a very predatory manner, Dave said, "So perhaps it is best we get started."

The mustached Yugopotamian moved back towards his covered cage while the group began to exchange nervous looks. If Dave knew exactly who Mark was going to pick, he would be able to prepare for Timmy. He might actually have something or someone who could win.

And that would mean that Mark would be killed. Amanda barely knew him, but she knew he was a friend of Timmy. And any friend of Timmy's must be a good person and he didn't deserve to be killed by his power-hungry cousin. There had to be a way to save him. She started to regret that leaving Norm's lava lamp back on Earth. He probably would have some ideas.

"My fellow Yugopotamians," Dave announced proudly as his image took over the television screen above, "I accuse Prince Mark of being unsuitable for his role as the crown prince of our planet. Sufficient doubt has been raised about him and he faces execution by chocolate, the fate decided by our ancestors and recorded in our laws. But as is his right, Prince Mark has requested a contest of champions to demonstrate his worth as a future ruler of our planet."

Cheers and excited shouts rang out from the stands. Regardless of what planet or species, everyone always loved a good show. And Dave was playing to his audience quite well.

Grabbing the edge of the sheet on the cage, he continued, "I shall present my champion first. He is a terrifying and horrifying life form. I should warn you, those who are easily frightened may wish to leave the audience. But fear not, he is carefully contained and won't be able to harm you."

He ripped away the cover and screams of pure terror filled the air, making Amanda flinch under her sheet. Then she actually looked at what was inside. While the cage was large enough to hold a bear, the occupant was tiny. He was only about the size of a soccer ball. He was vaguely shaped like a bipedal bunny rabbit with a glowing heart-shaped antenna. His fur was a dark shade of purple and looked extremely soft. Around his neck was a little medal with a heart on it. He looked like a little stuffed animal. She just couldn't stop staring at how adorable he appeared.

"Aww… He's so cute," said Amanda, the fairies, and Timmy.

Then she shook her head, trying to shake off the weird desire to commenting on the way the little rabbit creature looked. It was almost hypnotic.

"And now I'm bored," Timmy added before rubbing his eyes. Then he frowned and said, "Wait, is that a Gigglepie? I thought the Yugopotamians ate all of them."

"We did eat most of them," said Dave, grinning smugly. "They might be horrifyingly cute, but they are quite delicious. Like fresh manure." He trailed off briefly, imagining the taste while the kids gagged a little. "But there were still a few hiding. And I found this little one. In exchange for not eating him or punishing him for his species trying to conquer our planet, he serves as my champion."

"Uh-oh," Mark said quietly.

Timmy grabbed his head in frustration and said, "Their entire species is designed to be undeniably cute and sell stuff to people. How am I supposed to beat that?"

"I'm called Little Bright-eyes, the baby Gigglepie," said the purple rabbit creature in a sweet voice. "I'm as precious as can be. Don't you all want to play with me?"

More horrified and frightened screams filled the arena. Amanda didn't know what to do. Cosmo and Wanda almost seemed hypnotized by the adorableness, Mark looked like he was starting to doubt he'd survive, and Timmy looked desperate for ideas. What could he do to be more impressive to the Yugopotamians when cuteness scared them so much?

"You have seen my champion," said Dave. "Prince Mark must present his champion. Let us see who he has chosen."

Mark looked towards Timmy, his expression lacking any hope. He knew that Timmy was an amazing person, but he wasn't as "scary" as the Gigglepie. He couldn't impress the Yugopotamians. At least not enough to save Mark.

A brief look of inspiration flashed across Timmy's face and he grabbed Amanda by the shoulders and pulled her close. She could see determination in his expression as she peered through her eyeholes.

"Amanda, I have an idea, but I'll need your help."

"I'll do it," she said instantly.

"Really?" said Timmy, blinking in surprise.

"He's your friend. We have to help him. What do I need to do?"

"Be brave and be yourself. And follow my lead." He glanced towards Mark and said, "Don't worry. I've got this. Just stand there and look confident."

"Like, easier said than done," he muttered, taking a moment to glance back towards Little Bright-eyes and shuddering.

Timmy pulled Amanda and her sheet towards what could be considered center stage. Dave looked smug as they approached, but Timmy didn't seem bothered.

"And so this is Prince Mark's champion? The infamous Timmy Turner of Earth," said Dave with a smirk. "While undoubtedly a fierce warrior, he is nothing compared to my chosen champion."

Returning a smirk of his own, Timmy said, "Oh, _I'm_ not Mark's champion. I'm just the herald here to announce his _true_ champion."

"What?" asked Dave, clearly confused.

"What?" asked Little Bright-eyes in a flat tone.

"What?" asked Cosmo and Wanda, snapping out of their cuteness trance.

"What? I mean, like, totally true," said Mark.

Crossing his arms in front of him as his face was plastered all across the television screen, Timmy said, "Yes, I am here to introduce Prince Mark's chosen champion. For he chose a champion who tamed the trickster of the lamp, faced the trials of the creatures of the bad luck and bureaucracy, and stood against the Monster From The Dawn Of Time and came out alive."

Dave looked completely confused by Timmy's words and Mark was clearly trying to hide the fact he had no idea what was going on. Wanda looked like she might have figured out Timmy's plan, but Cosmo was scratching his head with his wand. But Amanda definitely knew what he was doing. She was a little nervous and didn't know if it would work, but she would let him try. If it might help Timmy's friend, she would do it.

"Behold, the chosen champion of Prince Mark, the rightful heir to the throne of Yugopotamia," announced Timmy with as much drama as humanly possible. He yanked off the sheet from the girl and said, "Amanda Adams!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I decided to break this into a three-part story. Why? I have absolutely no idea. I just ended up doing this for some reason. It is probably for drama and because I like cliffhanger-ish situations. Remember, reviews are always appreciated.


	8. Alien Royalty Pt 3

Timmy was thankful that the surprise of his actions managed to snap his fairies out of their cuteness-induced trance and that Wanda apparently figured out what he was up to. Otherwise she wouldn't have added the spotlight and sparkles as he ripped the white sheet off of Amanda. The special effects weren't exactly necessary for his plan, but they certainly couldn't hurt.

For a half a second after the sheet was removed, there was nothing except stunned silence. Then the screams started. Horrified, petrified, and terrified screams. The Yugopotamians shrieked in unbridled fear at the sight. A few of the members of the crowds fainted while others scrambled and fought to escape their seats in order to flee the coliseum. Even Dave flinched back and looked paler, clearly only holding his ground because he feared losing slightly more. It was mass hysteria.

Timmy didn't blame them. The sight was pretty scary.

A tiny eight-year-old girl with a shy and nervous expression stood in the middle of their competition. Big brown eyes, her brown hair tied back with a big teal bow, and wearing an oversized teal turtleneck sweater, Amanda looked completely innocent and vulnerable. And adorable, which was what frightened the Yugopotamians so much. Then there was the fact she was hugging her teddy bear close, a detail that Timmy didn't even think consider using earlier and was absolutely perfect. The only way to make her look more terrifying to the aliens would be to hand her a bouquet of flowers.

With her image plastered all over the screens and the girl looking around shyly, Amanda waved a hand and quietly said, "Hi?"

That set off another round of shrill screams from the audience. A few sounded girly and high-pitched enough to belong to Timmy's dad. Even Mark looked a little anxious and he'd developed some immunity to cuteness from his time on Earth.

Little Bright-eyes, on the other hand, looked furious. The Gigglepie grasped the bars of the cage and glared at the young girl. And fury really didn't help when it came to cuteness. Not to mention he didn't look quite as young either. The "baby" Gigglepie might not be a child after all.

"So anyone want to argue about how scary Prince Mark's champion is?" asked Timmy smugly.

"N-nonsense. She's n-not that s-s-scary," Dave said. "My champion is s-superior."

"Your champion tastes like delicious manure," said Mark, crossing his tentacles in front of him. "It looks hideous, but anyone in the audience would eat it if given the chance."

That made the Gigglepie back up from the bars uneasily. Then, smoothing his purple fur, he tried to regain his former adorableness. He widened his eyes and stared up at the audience with the most innocent expression imaginable. Timmy had to look away before he fell back under the cuteness trance, however briefly.

"I'm cute and sweet, but not good to eat," Little Bright-eyes recited in his species' musical voice, "and my appearance _really_ can't be beat." Then in a quick and rehearsed tone, he said, "Official Gigglepie Photo Album sold separately."

That produced a few more screams, but they didn't sound as frightened as before. Either the reminder of how delicious the Gigglepies were for the Yugopotamians reduced their fear a small amount or Little Bright-eyes didn't seem as bad in comparison now that they'd seen Amanda. Timmy didn't mind which one was the explanation. Either way, it was good for Mark's survival.

"That's not scary," said Mark, doing his best to maintain a bored expression as he stared directly at the little fluffy figure. "My beloved Vic _ky_ keeps more disgusting and horrifying objects in her room where she _sleeps_."

Timmy had _seen_ Vicky's room and he completely agreed that it was scary beyond all reason. It was a place of nightmares and evil. Though Mark probably thought the battle ax and chainsaw were a nice and normal touch. He was probably more disturbed by the occasional stuffed animal she kept there as decoys.

"Yes, your primitive female," Dave sneered. "She's more of a _pet_ than a future mate. Or perhaps you knew she was the best you could ever hope to get with your cowardly and weak nature. A dumb, ugly, bone-filled beast."

Once again, Timmy found himself jumping in between the cousins as Mark tried to apparently rip Dave apart with his own tentacles. He didn't know if trying to kill your competition would be grounds for disqualification, but Dave definitely seemed to be trying to provoke Mark. And it was working.

"No one insults my beloved Vicky like that. She's the most vile and awe-inspiring force in the universe. You don't deserve to be in the same star system as her. I don't care if you're family. After this, we're going straight to Death Combat."

Timmy might hate and fear Vicky, but Mark truly loved her. That wasn't an exaggeration. Magic couldn't separate the two. Timmy sometimes wondered what would happen to Mark whenever he did eventually lose his fairies. Mark and Vicky only met because of his wishes and undoing everything would mean using magic to break them up, which was against the rules. But that was a matter for another day. At the moment, Timmy needed to keep a furious and murderous Mark from trying to kill Dave for insulting Vicky again.

"Calm down, Mark," said Timmy, struggling to hold back the taller and squishy figure. "He's just upset because he's losing."

"I am _not_ losing," Dave said sharply.

"Have you looked at Prince Mark's champion?" Timmy yelled back. "She makes your champion look like something that crawled out of the dark craters on your planet."

"That's not for you to decide, Timmy Turner," he said. "This is for the people of Yugopotamia to choose." Turning his attention towards the cowering masses in the coliseum, Dave shouted, "My fellow Yugopotamians, it is time. You must decide which of the chosen champions is the most fierce and impressive. Will you choose the weak and pathetic creature that Prince Mark brought or will you make the right decision? Pick my champion and you will have a future ruler worthy of the throne. I shall make our planet great again. I will lead our people to conquer a hundred new worlds, starting with that troublesome little planet that corrupted our soon-to-be-former prince: Earth."

"What?"

Timmy didn't know if he was the only one who shouted. Cosmo and Wanda might have also joined in. He was also pretty sure Mark yelped at the idea of conquering the planet. That wouldn't be good for Vicky after all, even if Mark would already be theoretically dead by that point. Regardless, the stakes were now even higher than before.

"Yes, that little primitive world of yours will be conquered and enslaved. With a little work, I'm sure it'll be perfect for us. Maybe we can celebrate FLARG there next time," Dave continued smugly, twirling his mustache with a tentacle.

"You can't do that," shouted Timmy.

"When I am king, there will be no one to stop me," he said before turning back towards his audience. "Choose wisely, Yugopotamians. The horrifying Little Bright-eyes or _Amanda_? A worthy heir to the crown or the weak _coward_? Choose."

Timmy glanced between an anxious-looking Amanda and the audience of Yugopotamians. The fate of Mark Chang and the Earth were on the line. And the squid-like aliens looked rather divided on who to choose.

Little Bright-eyes took this as his cue to give it his best shot. He giggled. He cooed. He even wiggled his ears and batted his eyes. Timmy could see his fairies starting to fall under the sway of the utter cuteness again.

They needed something. They needed something definitive that would push Amanda over the edge of terrifying to the Yugopotamians. They needed something that would scare the entire species to the point there could be no reasonable doubt on which of the champions was the most impressive.

What could they do that would utterly horrify, repulse, and freak out the warlike species that were essentially allergic to anything good, nice, pretty, and sweet?

Sweet.

An idea struck once again. Since his godparents were stuck in the cuteness trance again, Timmy jumped up and grabbed the wand from Cosmo's hand. Between his very short period when he turned himself into a fairy (and his godparents into himself) and the time after Poof was born where he wished up a wand with a limited number of wishes for emergencies, Timmy actually knew how to use the thing semi-competently. Besides, it didn't take much experience for what he needed.

With a quick wave, Timmy _poofed_ up a small object and handed it over to Amanda. She looked surprised and gave him a questioning look. He just nodded. He trusted that she would know what to do.

Amanda took a step forward and held the round object in the air, making sure they would project it on the big screen for everyone to see. Gasps of shock and horror rang out as the Yugopotamians realized what she was holding. Dave stumbled back several steps, practically tripping over his own tentacles to get away from what the girl held. Even Mark, with all his experience from his time on Earth, leaned back and struggled not to cringe at the dangerous substance.

Then, trying to look confident and poised, Amanda took a large bite of the double-chocolate-chip cookie he'd summoned from the cookie jar in his kitchen.

One, loud, unified scream filled the coliseum as every Yugopotamian shrieked in pure terror. It was the last straw. They managed to survive the adorable little girl in an oversized turtleneck hugging a teddy bear, but having her _also_ eat the most deadly substance in the universe was just too much for them. Amanda and Little Bright-eye's faces appeared on the screen side-by-side before having the Gigglepie's face marked out.

Just as it did when Timmy faced the original three trials, eating chocolate guaranteed humanity's victory.

"No. No! This cannot be!" shouted Dave.

" _Shh_ -yeah, it is," Mark said. "I won this challenge. Which means I, like, keep my position as heir to the throne."

"And you don't die," reminded Timmy.

"Right. That too."

"Fine," said Dave. "At least cover your horrifying abomination back up. If you plan to execute me for treason, I don't want my last sight to be of that thing."

Still munching on her cookie, Amanda picked up her sheet from earlier and pulled it back over her head. She seemed a little relieved to no longer be at the center of attention.

"I'm not going to have you executed for treason," Mark said. Glaring briefly, he added, "I, like, _should_ kill you for what you were saying about my beloved Vicky. But I'll let her do it to you on our wedding day as a gift. She'll like that."

As Mark stared into the distance while apparently daydreaming of Vicky in a wedding dress violently dismembering his cousin, the king and queen wandered down with Poof. The baby fairy briefly floated in front of his parents and waved his stubby hands in front of their faces. When neither of his parents reacted due to still being in the cuteness-induced trance, Poof scowled and rolled his eyes. Then he waved his rattle. One _poof_ later and the Gigglepie's cage was covered again. Only then did Cosmo and Wanda snap out of it.

"Did we win?" asked Cosmo.

While Poof excitedly told his parents about what happened during their cuteness-induced trance, Timmy observed another family discussion unfold.

"Well done, Mark," said his mother. "We're so very proud of you."

"And we knew you would win the whole time," his father added.

"Which is why you spent the last week telling me that I was your favorite nephew and that I would make a wonderful new prince," muttered Dave, rolling his eyes.

"And once again, Earth has proven to produce some of the finest warriors we have ever encountered," the king continued, turning towards Timmy. "First the great Timmy Turner and now," he gestured towards the sheet-covered Amanda, " _her_. My son is certainly recruiting terrifying allies. He will make a powerful king someday."

"Thank you, King Grippulon and Queen Jipjorrulac," said Timmy. "As the infamous flower-skipping, teddy-bear-hugging, chocolate-eating Earth warrior, I hope that we can continue to have peace between our planets. I know that both of our people will benefit from this."

"Shh- _yeah_ ," Mark said, a look of inspiration appearing in his eyes. "It is totally helpful for our people for me to stay on Earth for a while. It lets me learn their training methods for their fierce warriors so that I, like, can totally bring back what I learn to Yugopotamia."

"What could we possibly learn from those primitive creatures?" asked Dave. "They don't even have proper space travel."

"Timmy Turner and Amanda Adams are considered _children_ on their planet," Mark said. "And, like, they are worthy champions that even our fiercest warriors could not hope to defeat. Can you, like, imagine what they will be like when they are full grown?"

The look of complete horror and dread that crossed the faces of the Yugopotamians who heard that news was almost hilarious. But Mark wasn't finished yet.

"Humans put their offspring through rigorous and deadly training to ensure they are powerful and formidable. Among other things, they often and without warning give their small children _chocolate_ in order to weed out the weak and vulnerable."

Now Timmy was struggling not to laugh. He'd finally explained to Mark after he kept freaking out about the occasional chocolate brownie they would serve in the cafeteria at lunch that humans weren't harmed by chocolate. He even explained that most people liked the taste of chocolate and it didn't poison them like it did Yugopotamians (and apparently dogs, according to Wanda). It took Mark a little while to wrap his head around the idea that the stuff wasn't toxic to a species and that it could even be considered pleasurable. But he eventually accepted that humans wouldn't die from the substance and that a box of chocolate at Valentine's Day was intended as a delicious treat rather than an assassination attempt.

But just because Mark understood humanity's view on chocolate didn't mean the _rest_ of Yugopotamians did. So he knew what they would think when he told them that human children regularly consume chocolate. He knew it would sound more impressive to his people than it really was. Timmy was actually pretty proud of his friend's cunning.

"While on Earth, I am learning all their methods and techniques. And when I bring that knowledge back to Yugopotamia someday, we can, like, totally use the same training to become even more formidable than we already are. And just like the Earth warriors, Timmy Turner and Amanda Adams, we will be able to conquer even the most deadly of obstacles. We will no longer have to fear creatures like the Gigglepies ever again."

Suspicion and distrust clear on his face, Dave snapped, "Prove it. If you have gained so much power from your time on that primitive planet with that _female_ , prove it to us now. Show us that you have done more than just hide from your problems on some backwater world."

The challenge was over. Mark had already won. But he clearly felt that he still had something to prove. Timmy watched Mark narrow his eyes at his cousin, glance around briefly, and then gain a rather stubborn expression.

Mark scurried over to where Amanda stood, still hidden by her sheet. He yanked the white sheet back off and exposed the girl and her teddy bear once more. Thankfully, the chocolate chip cookie was already gone.

He briefly eyed the teddy bear suspiciously, but Mark seemed too determined to let even the soft toy discourage him for long. With minimal hesitation, he wrapped his tentacles around the girl in a hug.

Adding to the numerous issues that Yugopotamians had biologically with things that humans liked, signs of human affection could burn them. Even hugs of friendship and thanks had left some rather unpleasant-looking burns on Mark in the past. But time on Earth, being constantly exposed to the various things that would make his species freak out or bleed, had made Mark a little more immune to them. Now a kiss from Vicky might short out his fake-i-fier, but it wouldn't cause him extreme pain and blisters. And a quick hug to a sweet and kind little girl didn't make him scream in agony.

It did, however, make all the other Yugopotamians scream instead. His mother even fainted at the sight of her son doing something that should be deadly. King Grippulon turned extremely pale. And Dave looked like he was about to be sick.

"You win, you win," Dave whimpered. "You should be king. Just make it stop."

Mark ended the hug and gave the girl a quick nod, saying, "Like, thanks a lot for the help, Amanda. I couldn't have won without you and Timmy."

"You're welcome," she said, pulling the sheet back on yet again.

"You are going to be a great king someday, my son," said King Grippulon, still looking rather shaken by the display.

Mark nodded and said, "But, like, hopefully not a long time. I think I'll need a lot more time on Earth first. You know, to learn everything possible and stuff."

* * *

The trip home after Mark's victory was less eventful. Timmy wished him, his fairies, and Amanda home while Mark visited with his family for a little longer. Plus, there were apparently some arrangements to make about dealing with Dave and trying to catch Little Bright-eyes. The little Gigglepie escaped at some point when he realized that his deal to avoid being eaten might no longer be in place.

Only when they reappeared in his bedroom and Amanda started putting the lava lamp back in her backpack did Timmy remember how upset she seemed when she arrived. The trip to Yugopotamia did the job he wanted of distracting the girl from whatever made her so sad earlier. But now they were back and she would be heading home soon. Would her problem still be in place or was it a temporary thing that would solve itself?

"Are you going to be all right?" he asked as she headed towards his bedroom door.

She turned towards him and said, "I'll be fine. Honest. Thanks for an exciting afternoon, Timmy. Maybe we can go snowboarding next time."

"Yeah. Sure."

Once she closed the door, Timmy collapsed tiredly on his bed. It had been a long day and he didn't know if it was over. Did he need to do something? Should he have asked Amanda again what made her so upset earlier? Would she have told him the truth? Should he have wished for the answers about what happened to her? Should he have wished for some kind of solution? Did Norm know about the situation? Would the genie blame Timmy for Amanda crying earlier?

So many questions whirled around Timmy's head like a flock of starved pigeons swarming a piece of bread. Things used to be so simple. He missed the days when his biggest concern was trying to survive an evening with Vicky.

Well, at least Amanda's problem couldn't be as bad as what nearly happened with Mark. She was calmer now and didn't seem as upset. It couldn't be a _complete_ disaster, right?

"It is a complete disaster," announced Chet Ubetcha from the television in the corner of Timmy's room.

"Did I leave that on the entire time we were gone?" Timmy muttered, raising his head a little.

"This is Chet Ubetcha on today's episode of 'Conveniently-Timed News Broadcast'," continued the announcer. "The main story this evening? The entire country of Canada just sank beneath ocean. Meanwhile, the state of North Dakota is now enjoying its new beachfront property and the increase in real estate values that follows."

"So… I'd say it would be safe to assume that Norm is in a bad mood," Timmy said before glancing towards his trio of fairies. "Do you think he found out about the trip to Yugopotamia or do you think this is because of something else?"

"Why would he go after Canada? Wouldn't he be coming after _you_ if he was mad because you took Amanda to another planet?" said Cosmo with a shrug. "Maybe he just wanted to sink a bunch of cities."

"Like you?" Wanda muttered.

"I only sank Atlantis."

"Yeah, but you did it multiple times."

"Whatever. Let's fix things before they get worse," Timmy said, already regretting his decision. "I wish Canada was back to normal, that everyone was fine, and Norm was here."

One _poof_ later and very frustrated-looking genie appeared in Timmy's bedroom. At least some of the anger dissolved when Norm blinked in surprise at his change in location. That was good, right? Timmy really didn't want to deal with an angry genie.

"I'm guessing you're not mad at me," Timmy said before Norm had a chance to react. "Otherwise my house would have sunk under an ocean instead of Canada. Or more likely, you'd show up directly and yell at me. So something else is upsetting you, right? Maybe whatever had Amanda upset when she showed up this afternoon?"

"You're smarter than you look, Turner," said Norm, his voice still a little tense. "Where is she?"

"On her way home. We didn't go snowboarding, but we did manage to distract her from whatever was going on. She wouldn't tell me though. But it wasn't me and I know it wasn't you." Timmy crossed his arms and stared at the genie, thinking carefully. "Unless Francis or Vicky or someone ran into her between her house and mine, there aren't really a lot of things that could have made her cry recently."

He caught a glimpse of pity and anger on Wanda's face, his godmother making the same realization that Timmy was. Cosmo didn't look like he'd figured it out yet, but he did look sad about the memory of how Amanda looked when she showed up.

Timmy knew to be thankful for his family and his god-family. Both of them loved him very much. His mom, his dad, Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof all loved him. Amanda didn't have that.

She just had Norm.

"What did her parents do and what did you do to them back?"

"Don't worry. I left them alive. I didn't even hurt them. I just scared them. A lot. But they won't remember it," said Norm, shoving his sunglasses further up his face. "I'll just have to let Amanda know they won't remember me."

"What did they do?" Timmy repeated.

"What they always do. They just said it one too many times and she actually has enough self-worth now for it to hurt."

Staring at the genie with an expression that Timmy couldn't quite decipher, Wanda asked, "And what do you plan to do now?"

He was quiet for a moment, his fists clenching and unclenching beside him. Timmy couldn't see his eyes. He couldn't see Norm's expressions and couldn't even guess what he was thinking. But there was something definitely going on in his head and Timmy wondered if Wanda knew what it was.

"I'm going to go find her and make sure she's all right. And then I'm going to do what no one who ever found my lamp ever considered doing: I'm going to make a plan," he said at last. "I'm going to make a plan so those two pathetic, smoof-for-brain, moronic losers _never_ break her heart again."

With that mildly-concerning statement, the genie snapped his fingers and vanished with a _gong_. Timmy didn't know whether to pity Amanda's parents for whatever the future might bring or to accept that they probably deserve whatever Norm could come up with. Though judging by the angry expression on his normally-sweet and maternal godmother, Timmy was beginning to think that she would be perfectly willing to help the genie in this case.


	9. Comic Con

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know there has been an insanely long wait. I apologize. I was swept up by inspiration for a couple other fandoms for a while. But that's part of the reason why this story is more episodic than "Never Had a Friend Like Me." It isn't the end of the world if there are long waits. The cliffhangers aren't as intense and likely to give you heart attacks. But I still apologize for making you wait this long. I do hope you like it though.
> 
> But this chapter doesn't focus on Norm and Amanda.

"So then I called security and he kicked the unpopular nerd out of the building," Veronica concluded, watching the manicurist put the final touches on her nails.

"Uh-huh," said Trixie in a distracted voice.

Veronica stared at her best friend, trying not to scowl in frustration. Scowling would only cause premature wrinkles. But Trixie just seemed so distracted all day. The closest to interacting with anyone she'd demonstrated so far was when she chose an unusual purple shade for her fingernails. And while Veronica loved the shade and instantly followed her lead, this didn't seem right.

"Anyway, are you excited about Saturday?" Veronica asked. "There's that shoe sale and I've had my eyes on those pink heels in the front window."

Blinking abruptly as she looked at her friend, Trixie said, "Sorry, I can't. I already have plans that day."

"What? But we _love_ shoes," she said. After a moment of silence, Veronica shook her head and said, "Fine. I guess we can do whatever you want instead."

"No, _we_ won't. You're not coming with me. You can go shoe shopping instead. We'll hang out next week instead."

Veronica stared in surprise. This... This didn't make any sense. They were best friends and popular students. There were certain expectations on them. And one of them was that the two most popular girls must attend all major clothing, makeup, and accessory-based sales. What could be more important?

"Where are you going without me?" asked Veronica.

Narrowing her eyes at the blonde girl, Trixie said, "Somewhere _I_ want to go. You wouldn't like it anyway. You wouldn't fit in. And there would be nothing in your size and certainly nothing in a color that suits you."

"But... But you _need_ me."

"You'll be fine for one Saturday. Just go to the shoe sale on your own. Or go with someone else. Have fun. We'll hang out another day."

The smile on Veronica's face might be a little strained to the point it appeared as if she would shatter like glass at any second, but Trixie didn't seem to notice. How was she supposed to follow around and sponge off her popularity if Trixie started wandering off without her? Veronica wanted to grab the nail file from the manicurist and jam it in Trixie's face.

Veronica knew she would need to spend a lot of time with her black wig when she got home. Pretending to be Trixie always made her feel better.

* * *

Trixie carefully smoothed out the purple skirt as she looked over her outfit one last time. She and Sanjay managed to put together something rather pretty. Her sewing skills weren't quite as impressive as the dark-haired boy's, but he had more experience making his costumes and she did her best to help. And she adored the results.

The purple skirt and top were made from a durable fabric while black straps crossed her chest before attaching to the dark cape, the straps covered in fake spikes. Long black gloves with no fingers showed off her new nail polish she'd chosen specifically for the day. Her black boots didn't have any heels, but would be perfect for crushing her enemies underfoot. And with her hair worked into a tall bun to support her crown of bones and part of her face hidden by her mask covered in fangs, she looked exactly like Queen Crusher in the comics. More importantly, she didn't look like Trixie Tang, the most popular girl in the school.

A nervous knock on her bedroom door pulled her out of her contemplations. Trixie turned away from the mirror to grab the purple lipstick. She couldn't forget the finishing touches.

"Come in," she called.

The door opened and two more characters from comic books stumbled in. Granted, Skull Squisher and the Grim Gargoyle didn't usually wear glasses and even the grey face paint couldn't hide the boil. But the costumes were completely accurate to the comic books. Sanjay and Elmer were surprisingly good with their sewing kits.

"Are you ready to be going?" asked Sanjay.

"Hold on just a second," she said.

Turning back towards her mirror, Trixie fixed her lipstick with skilled hands. The upper half of her face was hidden by the mask and her makeup disguised her lower face. She looked beautiful and fierce, just like the deadly villainess she was portraying.

Trixie loved how she looked right now, fashionable and geeky at the same time. It was everything she adored. The black-haired girl felt confident and ready to take on the world.

...As long as no one she knew recognized her and destroyed her carefully-cultivated reputation.

Shaking off that thought, Trixie spun around and smiled. The two unpopular kids returned the smile, though Elmer seemed a little uneasy. He was still getting used to her presence. He was still not used to the most popular girl in the school paying attention to him.

"I'm ready," Trixie said. "How do I look?"

"Like you are ready to face Skull Squisher in battle," said Elmer with a nod.

Sanjay added, "You will indeed be the most impressive of all the villainesses at the convention, 'Queen Crusher.'"

"Then let's get going before all the good stuff gets bought," Trixie said.

* * *

"So let me get this straight. Even with all your rules and secrecy, you dorks can just wander a comic convention with your crowns and wings on full display and Jorgen Von Stupid won't make a peep? I'm not sure who is the biggest idiots in this situation: the wand-wavers or the geeks who think costumes can make you float."

"Be nice, Norm. Please?"

"Fine. But if we're going, I can't promise I won't mock the worst of the losers the entire time I'm there. In fact, I can probably promise the exact opposite. Mocking them might actually be lots of fun. So many targets all in one place? Maybe this won't be dull after all."

Staring at the group assembled in his bedroom as he waited for Chester and AJ to arrive, Timmy mumbled, "I'm already regretting this entire idea."

* * *

Waiting in line for almost two hours for the creator of the Skull Squisher comics to sign their books might seem like a waste of time to some, but Trixie believed it was worth it. Especially when Lee Lewis himself complimented all of their costumes. She almost blushed and Elmer tried to hide his face behind his fabricated wings. But more importantly, they left with smiles and autographs.

Once they accomplished their main goal, the trio were free to wander the rest of the convention. There were booths filled with memorabilia and artwork for comics, movies, television shows, and animated works. Both mainstream and obscure franchises were represented. All three of the kids found wonderful pieces for their collections and bought them with their allowances, the boys rejecting the offer for her to finance the entire outing. And almost everyone present was wearing costumes. Everywhere she looked, she saw someone who looked like they stepped out of a comic or a film.

Trixie loved it.

She could move through the crowds anonymously, without any of the pressure that came with maintaining her popularity and status within the school. She could relax. But at the same time, she wasn't ignored or shunned. Every few minutes, someone would stop their group to compliment their costumes or even take pictures. And that attention helped validate the fact that she still had worth. Trixie could have attention and embrace all of her interests without fear of rejection. They accepted all of her. For a single day, she could have everything.

"Are you having fun?" asked Sanjay.

Spinning around and gesturing towards her surroundings, Trixie said, "Are you kidding? This is amazing. Thank you so much for inviting me. This is the best day ever."

"I still can't believe someone like you likes all of this," Elmer said.

"Really? Even after I won that trivia game and they gave me this collector's edition Crimson Chin poster?" she said, holding up her rolled-up prize triumphantly.

"Okay, that _was_ cool," he admitted.

"Indeed. That was more satisfying," said Sanjay. "The teenager with the braces, zits, and cardboard crown looked most disappointed to lose."

She smiled. It was nearly as fun as finding the perfect blouse on sale that would tie a whole new outfit together. Especially when the smug teen nearly burst into tears when he lost to a girl on comic book trivia.

"Oh, look!" shouted Sanjay without warning, pointing across the crowd. "It is Timmy! Hi, Timmy!"

While the dark-haired boy waved excitedly, Trixie tried to shove down her growing panic. She was in costume. They wouldn't recognize her. Even if they went to the same school and Timmy Turner knew her fairly well, no one would recognize her. No one would be looking for Trixie Tang at a comic convention. Her secret was safe.

"Hey, guys," Timmy greeted as they approached. "What's up?"

His group was surprisingly large. Timmy was dressed as Cleft, the Boy Chin Wonder. He looked eerily like the comic book character. Even his face matched. And with him was Empty Bus-

 _No_. Not Empty Bus Seats. They had names. She'd seen them before. She'd met them before. They were in the same class as her. Trixie dug through her memories until she remembered.

The blond boy with braces, _Chester_ , was dressed as Cat-Man. And the smart bald one, _AJ_ , was wearing Crash Nebula's uniform. They weren't completely identical to the characters like Timmy was with his costume, but they didn't look half-bad.

The rest of the group, she didn't know at all. Trixie didn't recognize the people or where the costumes were from. One was a little girl wearing a tan explorer's outfit, complete with the funny hat and backpack. Then there were three costumes that must be from some fantasy show. The crowns, wands, and wings certainly weren't from anything sci-fi. The brightly-colored hair could have been from either genre though. And the tall guy looked exactly like he stepped out of 1001 Arabian Nights, scribbling in a notebook occasionally as he lurked at the back of the group.

Trixie desperately wished that she knew how they pulled off the floating effect with their costumes. Not to mention the "no legs" thing. She would love to try it next year.

"Who are your friends, Timmy?" asked Elmer.

"Oh," he said. "Well, you know Amanda..." He shifted uneasily. "And this is Cosmo, Wanda, Poof, and Norm. They're visiting for the convention."

"Where did you meet all of them?" asked Sanjay.

Blinking briefly, Timmy said, "Internet."

"That makes sense," said Elmer.

"Really?" he said. "I mean, of course."

"And who is your new friend?" asked Chester, backing up a little nervously. "The... girl?"

Trixie squirmed a little. They hadn't made a plan for this. What should they do? What if her secret slipped? This was it. This was the end. Everything she'd ever done to hold a position of popularity was about to be destroyed. She was about to be ruined.

"Can you not tell?" Sanjay asked without hesitation. "Do you not recognize the ruler of darkness and death? Behold, Queen Crusher!"

She only froze for a moment, stunned by the protection to her reputation once again. Then she quickly adapted to the intro, embracing the role. She gave a smirk and struck a familiar dramatic pose. Trixie knew she looked exactly like the cover of the debut comic. Several other geeks around them paused to stare.

"Tremble in fear, heroes," she said, pitching her voice down a little for drama and to sound less recognizable. "For Queen Crusher takes no prisoners. And leaves no survivors."

"Dude, that was _awesome_. It was just like when she showed up in the comic," said Chester. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Are you sure you're a girl?"

"If you can't recognize a girl when she's wearing a skirt and makeup, then you're beyond all help," the tall guy, _Norm_ , said dryly.

The small girl, Amanda, glanced towards him at his comment, somehow looking mildly scolding and affectionate at the same time. They must be related. They certainly gave off the impression of being family, even within the five minutes she'd seen the pair. Though Trixie wasn't certain why Norm kept looking at Elmer's face with such unease. Hadn't he ever seen a boil before?

"What are you even doing with that notepad, Norm?" Timmy asked.

"Making a list."

"A list of what? Insults?"

" _Please_ ," he said, rolling his eyes. "Those come naturally to me, Turner. Especially with all this inspiration wandering around in spandex. This is for something else."

For a second, Norm looked like he was about to snap his fingers. But he paused and slowly tucked the notepad in his vest pocket instead.

"Did you get an autograph from Lee Lewis? We arrived later than originally planned and now the line is way too long," said AJ. "We're going to be there until closing."

"You should have gotten here sooner to avoid the crowds," Sanjay said.

"My bad. One of the possums dragged my costume off and I had to track it down," said Chester.

"Well, I certainly wish that everyone would be distracted by the costume contest and leave the line so we can get through faster," said Timmy casually.

Chuckling briefly, Chester said, "Maybe we'll get lucky and that'll happen."

There was a weird sound, sort of like a _poof_ , that momentarily distracted Trixie. But since she didn't see anything obvious as the source, she quickly decided it must be from one of the booths. They were selling all kinds of things. There was probably something that makes noise.

Then the three smaller floating people moved back into view. Trixie hadn't even noticed they'd ended up behind Norm at some point. They weren't really contributing much to the conversation before anyway. But now the pink-haired one, _Wanda_ , tapped Timmy's shoulder with a smile.

"I think the line is shorter now if you want to get that autograph," she said.

"Have fun," said Elmer. "We have a costume contest to win."

Leaning forward a little, Sanjay said, "Though I am most certain you would do amazingly if you entered, Timmy."

"He did win last time," said the green-haired stranger, Cosmo. "It was on accident though."

Crossing his arms, Norm muttered, "Surprise, surprise. Success without meaning to do anything is Turner's specialty."

"And snarky comments are yours," Timmy said dryly. "Come on, guys."

* * *

Trixie carefully cleared a shelf at the back of her closet. She knew that even on the days where Veronica came over, no one would poke around this far back. It was the perfect place to hide her secrets while still being somewhere she could enjoy them.

Along with the poster she won, which now hung on the wall behind her summer skirts, Trixie set the small trophy on a place of honor on the shelf. In tiny letters, the name plate read "Best Group Costumes." All three received the cheesy plastic trophies since they entered together. After all, Queen Crusher was a villain in an issue of "Skull Squisher" and the Grim Gargoyle was in a crossover, so they could have theoretically ended up together. And even if the prize seemed cheap and maybe a little dorky, Trixie couldn't be prouder.

On Monday, she would go back to school. She would return to ruling over the student population as the most popular girl. She would go back to only caring about clothes, makeup, shoes, and shopping. And they were all things that she liked. They were an important sliver of her interests and personality.

But for now, she was more than just that. She was still in costume. She was still Queen Crusher. For a few more hours, she could be everything she wanted to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been to a comic convention before. It was crowded and loud and amazing. Half the fun is looking at the amazing costumes these talented people wear. And wandering the booths to see all the cool stuff they're selling. And of course seeing the panels themselves where famous people and creators talk about all sorts of things. Yeah, if you ever get a chance, go to a convention. Even if it is a small one.
> 
> So I want to thank SeBriar on DeviantArt. They've actually started a comic format for "Never Had a Friend Like Me." There's only a few pages so far, but it looks amazing and it makes me smile.
> 
> I also want to say we will miss Adam West. Not only was he television's Batman back in the 60s, but he also voiced Cat-Man on "Fairly Oddparents." He did an amazing job and left an unforgettable mark on the world.
> 
> I know this chapter was short. But the next one should be longer in theory. But hopefully you weren't disappointed in this. I just wanted to let Trixie, Sanjay, and Elmer actually go to that comic convention they mentioned.


	10. The Plan Pt 1

He went over the list on his notepad one more time, trying to determine if there was anything obvious he'd missed. Norm knew if he forgot something important, he could always use magic to fix it to an extent. But if he could take care of everything all at once, there would be less stress on Amanda in the long run. That was the important part. He wanted to make his plan as easy and pleasant for the child as possible. She'd suffered enough because of her parents. He didn't want to upset her while fixing it.

He could figure out most of it by himself. There would be a lot of paperwork and files all over the place he'd have to create or fill out so no one would kick up a fuss. He'd done that sort of thing before with wishes, smoothing out discrepancies so that someone's big second wish technically was granted. He'd just never done it for this specific circumstance and he didn't want things to fall apart in fifteen minutes.

Norm knew there would be a few things he wasn't an expert on and might miss. Since genies didn't have rules when it came to their wishes, he was aware that he didn't know all the relevant ones that applied for what he had in mind. And that would only cause problems if he forgot or messed up on a key part of his plan. He wasn't impulsive and stupid enough to jump straight in without doing everything possible to prepare. Norm knew that he had reached the point where he would need to consult an expert on his plan. And the only person who might know enough had no reason to do anything for him.

Norm couldn't threaten him very easily. Not anymore. His magical potential wasn't quite as strong after he was freed and the guy was in charge of an entire magical species. The genie was outnumbered and might even be overwhelmed if he approached aggressively. The odds weren't really skewed in his favor anymore, so Norm would have to be smart. Threats wouldn't work, so that left bribery and bargaining as his best options.

The eternal problem was how to bribe someone who had magic.

"Hey, Turner," Norm called, _gonging_ into the boy's room. "I need to pick your brain a bit."

Screaming in surprise and flailing a bit, Timmy eventually settled back down and glared at the genie. A trio of goldfish joined in by adding their own unhappy expressions. Even the tiniest one looked grumpy about his unexpected arrival.

"Norm... It's three o'clock in the morning. I was _sleeping_. Couldn't you have waited?"

"Yes, but I've been working on this a lot recently and I want to get done faster. But I can't do much while Amanda's awake unless she's at school. And you've dealt with Major Monotone plenty of times. I need some information on how to get something from the Head Pixie when he probably still holds a grudge against me about trapping his species in a pocket dimension."

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, the boy mumbled, "I don't know. He never liked me. He doesn't do me favors usually."

"I know," said Cosmo, _poofing_ out of his fishbowl. Yawning briefly, he continued, "I was his Rice President for a while when the pixies got Fairy World in a hostile takeover. I know what he likes."

Norm silently debated the merits of taking advice from the green-haired idiot. But Timmy's eyes kept losing focus and the other two disguised fairies were drifting back to sleep, clearly having decided they didn't need to worry about him or participate in the conversation at the early hour. So apparently Cosmo was the best he was going to get at the moment.

"Fine, what do you suggest?"

Groaning dramatically, Timmy flopped back on his bed. Then he shoved his head under his pillow and dragged the blanket over him, burying the kid out of sight.

* * *

The dull, bland, and boring meeting room made Norm's skin itch. How in the world did they survive all this grey and monotony with their sanity intact? He spent centuries at a time trapped in a lamp and yet five minutes in the meeting room was driving him mad from boredom.

"I was surprised you scheduled this appointment with me, Norman," said the Head Pixie in his dull voice. He sat at the end of a long table, his hands folded in front of him. "You have already called in your single favor. I can't help wondering what you want and how you intend to convince me to give it to you."

Gritting his teeth briefly at the incorrect address, Norm said, "Look, I get it. We're not buddies. You like order and I'm a chaotic guy. And my revenge on your pixies was pretty effective. But all that stuff is personal. This is business. And you love business."

"You still haven't answered my question. What do you want?"

"Yeah, I need someone who understands current human laws and can find the perfect loopholes to keep the fairies out of the way," he admitted. "Because we both know those wand-wavers love interfering in things that don't concern them. They have no reason to get involved with any of this, but we both know they will if I don't have something to block them with and I'm not up to date on any of their stuff that isn't about godparents, godchildren, and wishing." Norm shrugged. "I'd hire a lawyer to at least consult and see if I've forgotten anything major, but all the magical ones already hate me. Including the pixies lawyers. And even if you hate me, I know you can work with people you hate if the price is right and I know you have at least more recent knowledge than I do on this stuff. Business tycoons have to stay on top of developments. You're the best person for the job."

Not changing his expression, the Head Pixie said, "I'm _always_ the best person for the job. But you have yet to describe what the job actually is."

Norm hesitated briefly. But this was why he showed up in the first place. He needed an expert who hadn't spent the majority of his existence stuck in a lamp and missing out of various changes, both magical and mundane. Shoving his sunglasses further up to hide his eyes, he quietly described exactly what he intended to do.

It was almost worth it just to see the Head Pixie actually look stunned.

"I see... That is quite an interesting goal. And certainly a long-term one. Relatively speaking." HP adjusted his glasses a little. "On the human end of proceedings, we have fairly accurate knowledge of the requirements due to a previous thirty-seven-year plan. Keeping an eye on Flappy Bob over the years as he grew and his eventual attendance of law school ensured that we became intimately familiar with certain aspects of human bureaucracy and other necessities. I can prepare you a list of what you will need if you truly intend to invest your time and energy in this project."

Remembering how many times he heard Amanda mention worrying about wasting her parents' time and energy, her tone calm and casual about something she believed in without question, Norm's hands tightened briefly into fists.

"This is worth it. All my energy and all the time in the universe. It's worth it. I want this to happen. And I want it to go smoothly."

Straightening his glasses again, HP said dully, "I haven't actually agreed yet. I have heard your demands and stated I _can_ meet them. But you haven't explained what you are offering me in return. Why should I assist you with this proposal?"

"Two reasons," Norm said, holding up his fingers to count. "First, you get a challenge. You get to work on something that requires an experience and skilled businessman who knows how to cover all the issues and manipulate the system. Something that will take all your knowledge and my tricks to pull off." And just in case flattery wasn't enough to keep the pixie's attention, Norm added, "Something that is bound to toss all of Fairy World into a frenzy whenever they find out. If you can't conquer the place, you can at least drive them crazy."

The Head Pixie didn't immediately respond to his words. He just stared at the genie with a blank expression. Norm had to give the guy credit. The pixie had the best poker face in the universe. That's probably an asset in business.

"And the second reason?" asked the Head Pixie, his tone not revealing anything.

Norm snapped his fingers and his bribe appeared with a _gong_. The way HP instantly locked his eyes on the golf club, the best model on the market, proved that Cosmo's suggestion was right after all. Apparently even the idiot could be useful.

"I figure you might want some new competition for your golfing," he said. "It has to get dull playing the same people all the time. Where's the challenge in that? You help sort this out and I'll play you once a year for a century."

There was silence for a few moments until HP leaned forward, his fingers interlaced and his hands resting on the table. He narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Two centuries," countered the Head Pixie. "And I pick the golf courses we play on."

"One hundred fifty years, you can pick where we play even if the courses are outside your pocket dimension, and you leave your clone army behind. No reason to tempt them into giving you 'extra help' with the games."

HP's eye twitched briefly at the insinuation, but Norm didn't back down. Cosmo mentioned that the other pixies tended to ensure he won by cheating with magic. Maybe HP ordered it. Maybe they did it without his approval or knowledge. Regardless, Norm couldn't resist needling him a little about the subject. Even when asking for a favor, he couldn't go completely against his nature for long.

"Very well, Norman. You have a deal." Pulling out his cell phone and dialing a number to actually call someone on the thing, he said, "Mr. Sanderson, please start gathering the necessary materials to draw up a contract for my new client. I'll send you the specifics shortly. Once that is drafted, I'll need you to do some research for me."

"You know I'll read that document very closely before signing it," Norm said as soon as he hung up.

"I would expect nothing less," said HP, his voice as emotionless as ever. "And while we wait to formally sign this deal, I suppose we could begin your strategy for keeping the fairies at bay. Now, there are a few court cases that set precedents you can use to your advantage. _Anti-Cosma v. Adelinda von Strangle_ and _Pinewater v. Shadwell_ will be your best defense. The first established that neither the Keeper of Da Rules nor any fairy godparent holds any jurisdiction over non-fairy magical creatures interacting with humans on Earth and that they can neither forbid nor interfere with said interactions unless there is a deliberate attempt to be antagonistic. Mostly that is used by anti-fairies, pixies, and so on, but there is no reason why it should not apply for genies as well. The second prevents a fairy from purposefully antagonizing or interfering with a non-aggressive, neutral, non-fairy magical creature on Earth, the punishment for trying being a fine or possible jail time. And genies technically qualify as neutral non-fairy magical creatures. As long as they cannot definitively prove that your interactions are aggressive, the fairies cannot interfere directly with what you say or do to humanity. So keep a low profile and avoid their attention for as long as possible. While pixies and genies may be skilled when it comes to exploiting loopholes and fairies prefer to follow their rules to the letter, there will be those who will take any excuse they can find to prevent your goal. After all, any action a genie takes will be viewed as suspicious and possibly aggressive."

"To be fair, most of our actions _aren't_ particularly friendly or helpful," Norm said with a shrug.

The tiniest smirk twitched briefly on the Head Pixie's face before he continued, "Now, the other important court case for what you intend to achieve would be _Valleysky v. Geraldson_. Granted, it only set a precedent for fairies and only when all other options have been exhausted. But combined with the previous two, it may be enough to force the fairies into a corner. As long as you have everything handled on the human end correctly, they have very few options available that would not be illegal. But if you are not thorough with the human half of proceedings, a clever lawyer will attempt to declare the entire thing null and void. From there, things would get messy and could take three hundred years to sort out."

" _Yeah_ , that's the sort of thing I want to avoid," said Norm. "Hence the asking for expert advice."

He had to admit, though, that HP really was good at this. What the Head Pixie said before was true. Both pixies and genies excelled at exploiting loopholes, but genies were far better at twisting those loopholes to extreme results. But using rules to directly help wasn't exactly Norm's specialty. The Head Pixie, however, was clearly in his element. He could use the system rather than fight it.

"Then my advice is to use this legal defense only as a Plan B while your Plan A should be to avoid letting the fairies know what you are doing in the first place. Avoiding the issue entirely will be the easiest solution and you can always fall back on the court cases if it becomes necessary later on." The Head Pixie paused briefly in consideration. "It may also help your case if you are able to convince someone in a position of power to take your side ahead of time. A difficult prospect for a genie, but perhaps not impossible after your involvement in the 'Bob Incident.'"

Norm nodded thoughtfully and said, "Right. Get someone who can throw their weight around if the Fairy Council finds out and throws a tantrum. Okay, I have an idea on that. I might know the perfect guy who fits the criteria. And he might even like me by now."

* * *

"I don't like you," said Jorgen bluntly.

"Very few people do," Norm said without any hesitation or shame. "But you know I'm right. You wand-wavers might have ignored her before, but I suspect you've been looking closer at Amanda's home life since Christmas. Between me and her hanging around Turner, only an idiot wouldn't keep an eye on the kid. And if you have even a speck of a brain, you'll agree that those two people she calls parents are horrible creatures who should be given a one-way ticket to Mars. The kid deserves better. Tell me I'm wrong, Jarhead. I _dare_ you."

The tall and muscular fairy didn't immediately respond, just staring at Norm instead. They were having the very uncomfortable conversation in the middle of a desert. It was a fairly neutral location and empty enough that it would be hard to hide any surprises. He had no intentions of tricking or trapping Jorgen currently and vaguely doubted the guy had the brain power to try anything, but the whole point of this was for Norm to think things through. He refused to end up like most of his former masters who were too impulsive to spot obvious pitfalls.

"I'll admit it. Adams could have benefitted from godparents in the past."

"Yeah, but that option is off the table, Muscle Man. She's mine. So I'm going to handle the situation my way. All I'm checking is if you're going to work with me or against me. Turner thinks you can be reasonable sometimes and this will help the kid in the long run."

"But have you considered the harm your plan will cause? Harm to those who don't deserve to suffer?"

Throwing his hands into the air, he asked, "What? Really? Still think I'm going to do something to the kid? This is to _help_ her."

"Norm," said Jorgen, the use of his name making the genie pause. "I understand your motivation. There have been other children who deserve better. Others with parents who do little to deserve the title. We cannot save everyone completely. We just do what we can."

"I don't care about the others. I care about _her_. And I can fix it so those two never break her heart again. So that she'll never cry because of something they did or said. So they'll never cause her pain again."

"But there is a cost for what you're doing. One you've never worried about before. This plan of yours? There is a reason why fairies rarely do it and only when there are no other options. There are still other options for Adams."

"I'm not changing my mind, Jarhead."

Sighing tiredly, the fairy gave him a strange look. One that combined pride, approval, sadness and pity. It really made Norm uncomfortable.

"Very well. I will not stop you nor share this with the Fairy Council. While it is a bad idea in many ways, you are breaking no rules," he said solemnly. "But as someone who has observed countless children and the fairies who love them, may I offer some advice?"

Peering over his sunglasses, Norm asked, "And what kind of advice could you possibly have? Extra push-ups every other day?"

"Since you intend to remain with the girl for a while, erase her memories and leave when she's grown. That way you will not be as tempted to return to her later."

"Uh, I know you are a little trigger-happy when it comes to mind-wiping, but how about _no_?"

"Genie, be reasonable," he said, slamming his giant wand to the ground for emphasis. Hitting sand made the impact far less impressive though. "You are already extremely attached to the girl and your plan will only make it worse."

"I thought you fairies were all about caring for random human kids."

"The longer you spend with the child, the harder it'll be to leave her someday. And there is no one there to force you to separate. It's going to be bad enough when Turner and his fairies part ways. His secret wish extending things for an extra fifty years without anyone noticing means he's had his godparents longer than anyone."

"So that's his secret wish," shouted Norm triumphantly. "I was really starting to wonder about that. I probably would have stolen his file again in a month or so just to figure it out."

"Focus," Jorgen said. "One way or another, you should leave the girl once she's grown and has a life of her own. Wipe her memories or leave them intact. That is your choice. Just make sure that you go your separate ways."

Crossing his arms, he said, "I've yet to hear one reason why I should follow your lousy advice."

"Because Adams is human. She is mortal. And you are not."

The first thing that crossed his mind was to make a sarcastic statement congratulating Jorgen on identifying different species. Then the fairy's true meaning sunk in and Norm's mouth snapped shut. It was a warning, one that only mattered now that he took an interest in humanity.

"Go ahead with your plan if you desire. Cherish the child. Enjoy and treasure your time with her. But do not linger once she is grown," said Jorgen solemnly. "It'll only hurt you if you choose to stay too long. And that is one form of pain that does not amuse me."

And with that, he slammed his wand down again and vanished with an explosive _poof_. Norm was left floating alone in the desert, trying to shove all those thoughts to the back of his mind and bury them. It didn't matter. He had plenty of time to worry about the distant future later. He had more important stuff to take care of anyway.

Besides, this was not the day to start taking advice from Jorgen von Stupid.

"I'm not leaving her," he muttered under his breath, shoving his sunglasses up further. "Quite the opposite."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this will be another two-parter. Norm is going down the list and making sure he's covering all the necessary details. He has a plan and he's going to make sure it works.
> 
> Regarding all the court cases that the Head Pixie mentions, those actually came from Fountainpenguin. We discuss things often and I've shared my ideas with them before, so they're loaning me some of their world-building details in return. I highly recommend their stories if you like pixies, world-building, or just really cool stuff.


	11. The Plan Pt 2

Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, stared across the desk at his one o'clock appointment. Not that he remembered his receptionist making the appointment in the first place. It just seemed to appear on the schedule like magic. And the individual who arrived for the appointment certainly wasn't what Doug expected.

Wearing a trench coat and slumping lazily in the offered chair, he seemed too unprofessional to be in the office of Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome. But he'd handed over a business card reading "Norm T. Genie" in elaborate script, which matched the name on the appointment. So even if he looked nothing like what Doug imagined, it was clearly the right person.

"It's very nice to meet you, Mr. Genie," he greeted. "I'm Doug Dimmadome."

"Doug Dimmadome?" asked the strangely-dressed individual, as if there could be any doubt to his identity.

"That's right. Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome."

"Great. And just call me 'Norm.' Everyone else does."

"Whatever you prefer. Now, I believe you were about to explain the purpose for this visit."

Leaning back in his chair, Norm said, "I'm working on a project with a lot of moving parts. And to keep a bunch of nosy and rule-obsessed pests from messing with it, I have to do as much as possible by the books."

Nodding sagely, Doug asked, "IRS?"

"...Sure."

"Those guys can be a real pain."

"Anyway, while I can take the quicker and more direct methods to get what I need for this, skipping a lot of steps in the process, doing things the more convoluted and mundane way will give me a better defense against those pests. It'll give me more credibility and make it harder for them to accuse me of some half-baked evil scheme. So I have to do this right. And one of the things that I need to do this right is money. Specifically, money already in circulation and not randomly created or snatched from someone else as if by magic. Counterfeiting and theft aren't ideal options this time around," he said with a shrug. "Fewer rules I break, the less they'll have to use against me."

Doug chuckled at the counterfeiting joke. It was always nice dealing with people with a sense of humor.

"I hope you realize I'm not a bank. Loans aren't my forte."

"I know, Big Shot. Not that I have a good enough credit score to get a loan. Or a credit score at all. Probably something to work on. Hang on."

Norm then took a moment to pull a notepad from his pocket and scribbled down something. Then he tucked it back away and continued talking.

"Look, you're a businessman. You buy and sell things. And even better, you're filthy rich. Now I _could_ take what I want from you. You wouldn't even notice the difference. But I'm going the more honest route. Following the local laws and all that. I mean, I consulted with HP for a reason. Ignoring his advice would just be stupid."

Reaching back into his coat pocket briefly, Norm dropped a large object on the desk with a heavy _clunk_. Doug's eyes practically bugged out of their sockets. A blue gemstone about the size of a baseball was sitting there like a random knickknack. And even as rich as the man was, it was still enough to catch his attention.

"Turns out if you spend enough time with greedy humans, sometimes you remember where their junk ends up when they're gone," Norm continued casually. "Like large sapphires. Now, here's my suggestion. You make an offer. It doesn't even have to be close to the real worth of the thing. Just fork over enough to cover what I need for my plan. I get cash and you get a shiny rock. How great is that?"

Doug Dimmadome stared at the gem and the confident smirk of the stranger. This couldn't be real. He wasn't an idiot and Norm did not appear to be one either. People don't make these types of deals. It had to be a trick. There was something wrong, but he couldn't figure out what. Was there something actually illegal involved? Why did Norm want to make this strange trade?

"What's the catch?" asked Doug. "Why are you making an offer like this? What could you possibly need this much money for this quickly? You could sell it at auction or give it to a museum, writing off the expense as a charitable donation when doing your taxes."

"Because I don't have time for that," he said, peering over the top of his shades. "Look, there's a bit of a long story involved, but I'll give you the short version. There's a kid with a depressing home life who deserves to be happy. This will help fix that."

That made Doug pause, the man looking at the small framed picture on his desk. While the scruffy and dirty boy in ragged clothes didn't seem like an image most would treasure, it was from the day Doug was reunited with his long-lost son. While a bit more haggard than the man remembered and certainly far better at making lemonade than before, he'd been too happy to have the boy back to care about his appearance at that moment. He loved his son and would do anything for him. Perhaps even sell random gemstones for quick money to help him.

It would seem that Norm's actions were not so incomprehensible after all.

"Well, that is certainly a heart-warming story," said Doug. "Even if it wasn't much of a story. It was only two sentences. Most people wouldn't even call it a story at all. But still heart-warming." Straightening his hat slightly, he said, "Very well, Norm. Let's do business."

Quickly scribbling down a number he felt was at least a semi-reasonable amount, Doug slid it across the desk. Norm glanced at it before giving a slow nod.

"That should be enough. You've got a deal," said Norm. "One giant shiny rock to go with your giant hat. Just hand over the money and I'll get out of your hair."

"Do you really think that even someone as rich as me has huge stacks of cash laying around my office to hand over to random people? Ignoring sensible methods like checks and credit cards when dealing with large transactions?"

"Uh... Yeah?" said Norm, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

"You'd be completely right," he said, plopping stacks of cash on the desk. "Here you go. Just as agreed."

Grabbing up the money and tucking it into his trench coat, Norm gave a short nod of appreciation and shoved himself out of the chair. Without another word, he turned and marched out of the room. Doug had to admit he was mildly impressed. His movements were so smooth, it was like Norm was floating instead of walking.

* * *

The human bureaucracy was elaborate, but it was a lot easier to manipulate with magic than the files magical creatures kept. And Norm already had experience messing with those. With the list he made and the one that HP provided to serve as guidelines, he knew exactly what he needed to fix.

Arranging a proper paper trail took time. Some of the information he tried to keep fairly true, but a lot of it was just completely invented off the top of his head. Certificates, proof of existence, credit scores, school records, and so on. He had to create a lot of documentation to make the illusion he wanted seem believable. It took time, but he refused to be anything but thorough.

With every item he completed, Norm checked it off his list. Each crafted document and slightly modified memory brought him a little closer to his goal. Thanks to the Head Pixie's advice, he knew how to handle interfering fairies and had the human issues under control.

Soon, all that was left the final document that needed to be saved for last and the more practical aspects. Like the ones he grabbed cash to handle. Again, magic could solve a lot of problems later, but it would be easier on the kid to have everything ready ahead of time. And doing them the mundane way ensured that the wand-wavers would have very little legal reason to complain.

But there were at least a few practical aspects left to deal with. So while Amanda was at school, Norm dug out a business card he snagged earlier and made a call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, there. Mrs. Turner, right?"

"Yes, this is she."

"Perfect. I've got your business card here, which has a _very_ lovely picture of you. I'm looking for something nice and charming and you might just be the woman to help me."

"While flattering, I'm a married woman."

"Hey, that's perfectly fine. While certainly attractive, you're not my type," he said hurriedly. Both because she was a married human and because he didn't want to date anyone related to Timmy, no matter how amusing it would be to watch the boy squirm. "I would simply like your help on a professional basis."

"Oh. Of course. Sorry. I just thought you were flirting with me before."

Well, technically he was. Flirting was a habit and a useful manipulation tool. But sometimes he ended up using it without thinking first. Flirting with Turner's mother wasn't his best idea. But it wasn't the weirdest phone call he'd ever made either.

...Maybe he should try flirting with her in front of the boy sometime. Just to see how Turner reacted.

 _Nah_. It would probably make his head explode or something. There were plenty of other ways to tease the boy that wouldn't give him an aneurism.

"Anyway, I'd be happy to help you. Can you tell me what you're looking for?" she continued.

"Well, location is the big issue. Anything I don't like can easily be changed. I'm pretty good when it comes to remodeling."

* * *

Mom and Dad have been acting strange lately. Ever since Norm talked to them, things had been different. Amanda knew they didn't remember the genie. She _knew_ that. But whenever they looked at her or seemed like they would be about to say something, a look would cross their faces. An expression of fear would appear for no apparent reason and they would leave her alone.

But part of her, a small and quiet part of the girl, preferred them leaving her alone to having them describe exactly how little they cared for her. She already knew it. She just didn't like hearing it. If they ignored her, they weren't saying the words that made her feel small and useless.

And Amanda... She wasn't useless. She wasn't a waste. If she was, then no one would like her. But they did.

Timmy was her friend. And Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof cared about her. Chester and AJ were nice and liked her.

And Norm was... Norm.

But even with what she gained, she couldn't forget her parents and she couldn't ignore how strange they were acting. She was just waiting for something to happen so that they got mad at her again.

It was easier to spend more time at Timmy's house, even if that meant risking Vicky. She was happier with them. Timmy would show her so many amazing things, Poof played with her, Cosmo made her laugh, and Wanda seemed determined to smother her in as much affection as she did her son and godchild. And it only seemed to increase since their trip to Yugopotamia.

For example, that evening they were playing one of Timmy's racing video games. Cosmo wasn't exactly doing well, holding the game controller upside down. Wanda and Poof were cheering the children on. And Amanda was competing closely with Timmy.

"Poof poof!" said the infant fairy.

"Why aren't you on my side?" Timmy asked, but nearly laughing as he spoke. "You're _my_ god-brother."

"Why is my car going in circles?" asked Cosmo.

Shaking her head, Wanda said, "I think you're stuck."

"Poof poof poof!"

Amanda focused on her little digital car. Unlike in the past, she was right on the bumper of Timmy's vehicle. She was so close. She still wasn't as good as Timmy. But she was a lot better than when she started. In fact, when the car avatars crossed the finish line, hers was neck-in-neck with his car.

Second place appeared on the screen, but she was grinning broadly like she'd just won the race. She dropped the game controller and pressed her hands against her mouth, practically squeaking in excitement. Poof tackled her in a hug. And Timmy patted her shoulder.

"I almost won," she said quietly.

"You almost beat me," said Timmy, laughing proudly. "Did you see that? Next time we play with Chester and AJ, they're going to be so surprised."

"Congratulations," Wanda said.

While Amanda grinned at all of them, she managed to smile even brighter when she heard a familiar _gong_.

"Norm," said the girl as soon as he appeared. "I almost won on Timmy's racing game."

"She was really close this time," confirmed Timmy. "I wasn't holding back and she still almost did it. Another lap and she might have beat me."

Smiling at her and ruffling her hair, Norm said, "Nice going, kid. Always knew you were a fast learner."

Amanda giggled at his praise, not even slightly bothered that he was messing up her hair. She was simply happy to have the genie there. He'd seemed busier than normal recently. She'd missed him.

"Hey, Turner?" said Norm slowly, a strange tone creeping into his voice. "While I'm sure you're ready for round two and everything, I need to borrow the kid for a bit. I... We need to talk."

Between his unusual tone, his hesitancy when speaking, and the way his shoulders stiffened and his eyes refused to look at her as he talked, Amanda instantly realized Norm was up to something. Whatever he wanted to talk about was making him uncomfortable. If there was one thing the girl could recognize, it was what nervousness looked like.

She had no idea what was going on and Cosmo appeared equally clueless, which wasn't that unusual. And Poof seemed confused. But not Timmy or Wanda. He seemed to have at least an inkling that the genie had been planning something for a while, though Amanda suspected he didn't know any details. There was too much curiosity in his face for him to know everything. Wanda clearly knew or had guessed far more about what Norm had in mind. The fairy also appeared unconcerned about it. She almost seemed to approve of what he intended to do, which was a change from the days when they were suspicious of everything involving Norm.

But no matter what Norm had planned, Amanda trusted him. Picking up her backpack from the floor and slipping it on, she walked over and took his hand.

"Okay, Norm," she said. "Let's go talk then."

He nodded and snapped his fingers, their surroundings vanishing with a _gong._


	12. The Plan Pt 3

This was a bad idea.

The unwanted thought manifested in Norm's head as soon as the pair appeared in the house. This could go really badly. He could still call the whole thing off, undo everything and even wipe a few memories if absolutely necessary. It wasn't too late to back out.

Norm stubbornly squashed down that entire line of thought. He'd worked too hard. He'd planned and plotted over all the details. He'd even talked to HP and Jorgen, experiences that he certainly didn't engage in out of fun. Norm had spent more time and thought on this idea than he'd ever invested in any other scheme. This part would need to be handled carefully, but everything was as prepared and organized as possible.

It would be fine.

Amanda glanced around their new surroundings, curiosity and confusion clear on her face. Norm didn't blame her. He'd brought her to an empty living room in a strange house with almost no explanation.

"So, kid, I need your opinion on something," he said with forced casualness. "I'm pretty sure this place is half-decent, but I might not be the best judge since, _hey_ , I live in a lamp. So give me the human child viewpoint. Take a look around and let me know what you think. Let me know what you like and don't like about the house. And take all the time you need, kid."

She stared at him a moment before giving a slow nod and doing as the genie asked. He stayed behind and let her explore without him hovering over her. At no point in this entire proceedings did he want to pressure the girl on any of these decisions. This was up to her.

The place was empty of furniture, but the potential was there. Most of the walls were painted a neutral tan that would probably go well with anyone's decorating style. The living room had a light-colored carpet while both bedrooms had a more comfortable shag carpet, the kind someone could relax on quite happily. There were plenty of cabinet space in the kitchen, most of it low enough for a child to easily access. The kitchen also had room at the end of the counters for a couple of stools and space for an actual table in the corner. And while both bathrooms included options for bubble baths and showers, the master bedroom also included a hot tub with loads of space. Outside was a large backyard with a few tress and plenty of grass to run around on.

But any and all those details could be altered with a simple finger snap. More important was the fact it was just down the street from Turner's house.

"It's nice, Norm," said Amanda, wandering back into the room. "Whose house is this? Are we allowed to be here?"

"Of course we can. No one lives here. The place is for sale and anyone can poke around."

"Oh... Um, Norm? Why are we here? Are you okay?"

Floating a little lower and peering over the edge of his sunglasses, he said, "I'm fine, kid. So you honestly like the place? The layout? The size of the rooms? The colors? The carpets, tiles, and so on? Did you check out the yard? Any detail you think could be better?"

Amanda seemed to take his questions seriously. She frowned and furrowed her brow, thinking hard on the topic. Norm waited silently for her response.

"Uh... It needs furniture?"

Chuckling lightly, he asked, "Anything else, kid?"

"No? Why? What's all this about? Why are we looking at this house?"

"I'll explain it in a minute. I need to talk to you about something important first."

Norm took a moment to gather his thoughts properly. He had to broach the topic carefully. Amanda was always hard for him to predict. She was always an exception. She rarely reacted the way most of humanity would. If he didn't approach the subject the right way, Amanda would try to give the answer she believed would make others happy rather than what she truly wanted.

He slid his sunglasses off and met her gaze firmly. He needed her to take his next words very seriously.

"You know that I like you, right? You know I'm here because I _want_ to be. There's nothing holding me here. I stay with you because I like staying with you. And you understand I fully intend to stay with you, right?" he said, slowly and firmly. "I care about you. I _want_ you. That will not change. Do you believe me, Amanda?"

She nodded, slow and hesitant at first before growing more confident. The confused and questioning look never left her eyes, but Amanda didn't doubt his words. She believed the genie did care, did want her, and would stay. And based on everything he knew about her, it had been a long time since Amanda believed that of anyone.

"Good. That's important, kid," he said. "Now, you need to understand that you can make any choice you want. Totally up to you. Won't bother me either way and, _hey_ , it might be nice to see you make a decision for yourself instead of for everyone else."

"What... what decision?"

Well, it was now or never. Hopefully the girl would actually consider the choice. Because this was _her_ choice. He wouldn't make her accept the option he was offering her. Even if he knew that leaving everything alone would just lead to heartbreak again.

"I want you, Amanda. And let's be honest, your parents are idiots." When she opened her mouth to say _something_ , Norm continued, "They are oblivious to how amazing you are, kid. They don't deserve you. And for some idiotic reason, they don't want such a wonderful kid nearly as much as I want you. So here's what I'm offering."

He gestured around at the empty house. He had to keep the momentum going.

"You've always worried about wasting their time, energy, and money. They don't deserve your concern, but _fine_. I'm offering to fix that and, more importantly, make sure you never have to be hurt by those two again. If they don't want to keep you, then _I_ will." When silence met his words, he continued. "Look, I've got it all arranged if you want. Your parents sign over custody and give up all rights concerning you, all the paperwork gets filed, and we move you into this nice house down the street from Turner. You only need to ask, kid."

"You... you want... you want..."

"The word you're looking for is 'adopt.' As in I sign the paper and all the legal work will claim me as your new guardian."

Her eyes wide and her voice barely a whisper, Amanda asked, "You want to be my fa-"

"Guardian," he said quickly, interrupting before she could use a word that would make everything weirder.

Yeah, the entire concept of fatherhood wasn't something Norm really wanted to consider. Happy, little, stable family units wasn't the normal setup for genies. They spent the majority of their time trapped in lamps, isolated from each other for centuries at a time. Most of the time the one-night-stands were gone long before junior popped up. Single mothers raising their child alone was the norm. Paternal instincts were practically nonexistent within the species because there was no point.

Father was a term that bothered Norm because it just didn't seem to fit him. And it carried _way_ too many connotations and expectations. "Guardian" was easier to work with. He could handle that one.

"People have issues with kids living alone," he continued. "And since I'm already staying with you anyway and you're the one who freed me from my lamp, helping you out is only fair. Everything is ready on the human end of the bureaucracy and even the wand-wavers have done this a few times themselves when they run out of options for their god-kids. They even had a court case about it. _Valleysky v. Geraldson_ states fairies are allowed to legally adopt a human kid if no other guardian exists, so they can't complain too much if I want to do the same thing."

He twisted his sunglasses between his fingers. Norm had no idea if he was succeeding. Amanda still stared at him in shock. He couldn't tell what she was thinking. Would she accept or decline? And would it be her choice or the one she believed would make everyone else happy?

"But remember that no one is making you go for this option," he assured. "Everything can be stopped and you can go ahead like before, though I can't promise I won't turn your parents into turnips if they make you cry again. Or I'll go ahead and start the ball rolling. Or you can wait. There's no hurry. You don't need to decide right this second."

Her little body was tense, like a rubber band stretched to its limits and about to snap. She stared at him, her expression somehow empty and turbulent at the same time. It was a lot for the child to take in. He knew that. It almost made him want to forget this entire thing and make her forget this entire conversation. _Almost_. But he also knew it would be better to keep going. Norm just hoped she would make the choice that was best for her.

She freed him from his lava lamp. He wanted to free Amanda from her life with those awful people who called themselves parents. He wanted her to be happy and for things to be better for her.

But she waited to free him when he asked. It wouldn't be fair to make this decision for her.

Norm waited silently for several moments for Amanda's response. She eventually opened her mouth a little, but no sound came out. She blinked rapidly as she wrapped her arms around herself, everything in her posture showing how overwhelmed and conflicted she felt. She swallowed hard.

And then Amanda nodded once.

Making the decision shouldn't look so hard and upsetting. From his point of view, it seemed so obvious. But it was clearly something she was struggling with. But she still made it.

Smiling reassuringly at the girl, he said gently, "All right, kid. All right. You sit tight and I'll handle it."

He snapped his fingers, materializing a beanbag chair and a cellphone with a _gong_. The girl settled on the seat, her movements as stiff as a marionette being controlled by strings. Norm started dialing. He needed to get this finished as quickly as he could without cutting corners.

The sooner everything was taken care of, the easier it would be for everyone. She would feel better. She would be away from those people and that toxic household. And she wouldn't have to hear someone continuously tearing at her self-worth for the rest of her life.

As soon as someone picked up the other end, Norm said, "Hey, Mrs. Turner. Remember me? Yeah, we're going ahead on buying the house that you showed me. Tell the buyer you'll have the money for them in cash immediately. It'll be on your front step. Thanks."

"Wait, what?" she began, but he was already hanging up.

With another snap of his fingers, the phone vanished and the promised money appeared down the street with a _gong_. That was one more small task handled. Next up was the actual adoption part. And that meant dealing with his two least favorite humans for the last time.

* * *

Amanda sat stiff and still on the blue beanbag in the empty house. Her house. This was her house now. She was going to live here now. She would be staying here with Norm. And not her parents.

Those thoughts kept twisting around inside her. Amanda's emotions were murky and shifting. She didn't know what to think or feel.

He wanted her. Norm wanted her. She knew that. And her parents didn't. They didn't want her. They would be happier without her. Everyone would be happier this way.

She would be happier. She would be happier away from them. She wanted this.

What kind of horrible daughter would be happier if she didn't have to live with her parents anymore?

"I'm going to need to make a few stops, kid," said Norm. "Final touches and everything."

He was leaving. She didn't want to be left alone with her conflicted feelings. She should say something. She wanted to react. But the girl couldn't bring herself to even move or speak. Her head felt stuffed and crackling with static.

"I really don't want to drag you through all this, so how about you hang out here for a while?" said Norm, pulling his sunglasses back on. Gently resting his hand briefly on her shoulder, letting her know that he recognized her distress, he said, "I'm not leaving you alone, Amanda. That's kind of a bad first move for a new guardian. So I'm going to grab someone to stay with you until I get back."

Norm snapped his fingers and her teddy bear appeared in her lap with a _gong_. Another snap and _gong_ and a blanket appeared around her shoulders. And she already had her backpack with the lava lamp. He was trying to make her feel comfortable and safe.

She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve a new life like this. She was a selfish daughter who wasted so much of their time, energy, and money and was now so ungrateful that she was abandoning them.

She deserved this. She deserved to be happy. And they would be happier without her.

They would be happier without her. They didn't want her. Norm wanted her.

Everything kept churning and tumbling around inside her. It was too much. Everything was overwhelming and she couldn't seem to figure out what emotions were swirling around.

She'd made her choice. She made the selfish choice. It felt wrong, but it also felt right. Amanda just... She just couldn't...

Was she supposed to be happy? There was happiness in the murky and twisted knot, but the other feelings kept pushing in front. Like doubt, anxiety, and guilt.

But mostly guilt.

What was wrong with her? Why was this so hard? It shouldn't be so hard to accept something good.

"I promise I'll be back as I can," Norm said gently. "Most of it is already prepared, but I need to finish this. I'll hurry and come back soon. Then we'll order takeout and figure out how to decorate the place. Beige isn't exactly my favorite shade, especially for the whole house."

His words were a steady and even stream, something normal and familiar when everything in her world had changed. But even with his calm voice, Norm's discomfort with _her_ discomfort couldn't be hidden completely. She didn't want to upset anyone, let alone Norm. He was trying do something nice and she couldn't even be completely happy. It only made everything more turbulent.

"You'll be all right, Amanda. Just stay here until I get finished. Okay?"

This time, she managed to make her body respond a little and gave a tiny hesitating nod. It didn't change the stormy emotions swirling around. It didn't change the overstuffed and strange sensation that had consumed her ever since Amanda realized what Norm was offering.

She wanted this. She wanted to stay with Norm, with people who cared about her. She wanted that happier life.

She wanted to leave her parents and have a better life.

She deserved this. She didn't. She did. She didn't.

Norm snapped his fingers and Wanda appeared with a _gong_. The pink-haired fairy blinked and scanned her surroundings in confusion, clearly not expecting to be yanked away. Then she spotted Norm and focused on the genie.

"Don't worry. I left a note for your husband, kid, and god-kid. At least one of them should be able to read it," he said quickly. "I just needed to borrow a babysitter and I figure you're a better option than the red-headed teenage psycho."

She glanced between Norm, Amanda, the empty house, and back. Then she met Norm's gaze firmly.

"What exactly are you doing?" asked Wanda slowly. "You want to help Amanda. You want to keep her safe. But what are you doing? What is your plan?"

"Worried I'm going to deliver a horrible fate to Mr. and Mrs. Adams? Or _hoping_?" he asked. "Tempting, but no. I'm solving this problem a less murderous way."

Looking at Amanda again with a worried expression on her face, Wanda said, "Whatever you're doing seems to be putting her into a bit of a shock." She floated down a little closer and brushed back a bit of the girl's hair. "Are you all right, sweetie?"

"Didn't mean to freak her out," he mumbled uneasily.

Was she freaking out? Amanda wasn't sure. She would have thought that freaking out would be different. Louder. Not this silent stillness.

"What exactly are you doing, Norm?" asked Wanda again.

"I'm doing what should have been done a long time ago. I'm taking her away from those two heartless jerks and I'm keeping the kid," he said. "So could you please stay with her and be all... maternal or whatever fairy godmothers do while I finish the whole adoption thing?"

Wanda blinked in surprise, staring at the genie. He responded by shoving his sunglasses further up and blocking his eyes from sight. Then, giving Amanda a final encouraging nod, he snapped his fingers and vanished with a _gong_.

"Well... _huh_ ," said Wanda. "I figured he'd go for the more vindictive option. But this... this is actually pretty nice of him. How are you handling this, Amanda? Are you happy about staying with Norm permanently?"

And that broke through the physical and mental paralysis. Everything seemed too much. Tears started sliding down her face even as she started laughing. Amanda tightened her grip on her teddy bear. Wanda wrapped her arms around her in a hug, her vast experiences as a godmother and a mother guiding her actions.

"I _am_ ," Amanda said, her voice shaking. "I'm happy. I want this. I want to stay with Norm, not my parents. Is that wrong?"

"No, sweetie," said Wanda. "That's not wrong at all. Crazy as it sounds, that genie loves you. And you deserve to be loved and happy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, this definitely ended up longer than I expected. There's still one more chapter left to this episode. But at least you know what Norm's plan was. Amanda is a bit overwhelmed right now, but it'll be good for her in the long run. She'll be happier.


	13. The Plan Pt 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this should wrap up this section of the story. This is the last little bit of Norm's plan. That doesn't mean that "Tales as Old as Time" is necessary finished. It just means that this "episode" is coming to a close. Which is good because that means no more of Mr. and Mrs. Adams!

Don't kill them. Don't kill the two idiots. He could hate them all that he wanted to, but this was the last time that he would ever need to deal with them. All he needed to do was get them to sign some papers and they would be out of Amanda's life for good. She would have the better life that his girl deserved. All he had to do was get through this meeting without giving in to the urge to murder the two humans.

Norm didn't bother to be subtle. He didn't have the patience to deal with it. He simply appeared in the Adams' living room with a cloud of colorful smoke and an echoing _gong_. He almost considered adding some lightning bolts to add a bit of flash to his entrance. It should be enough to intimidate his audience and leave them cowering in fear.

Unfortunately, he forgot to take into account that both of them would be working. His grand entrance ended up falling flat because there was no one else in the house.

Growling in frustration, Norm snapped his fingers and both of them appeared on the couch with a _gong_. And when their confused expressions only infuriated him further, he snapped his fingers again. With another _gong_ , the memories of their last encounter were restored and their eyes widened in terror.

"Yep," he said sharply. "Me again."

"What do you want?" asked Mr. Adams. "We've barely even spoken to her since that day.

"I know. Good job on achieving the bare minimum. But here's the thing," Norm said with a sharp voice. "I still hate you both. And neither of you deserve to have Amanda. You don't want her and you certainly don't deserve her. So rather than, you know, making the kid suffer through this for the next decade, how about we take you out of the equation entirely?"

"Are you going to kill us?" asked Mrs. Adams.

"Tempting. Oh, so tempting. But afraid not. If I do that, the wand-wavers will use it as evidence that I'm enacting some evil plot and that's a headache that I have no patience for." He snapped his fingers and a stack of papers appeared on the coffee table with a _gong_. Norm continued in a curt tone, "So here's what you're going to do. For once in your miserable lives, you're going to do the right thing for Amanda. You two are going to sign over custody to me and give up all your parental right over her."

"Why?" asked her father. "What could you possibly want with her?"

The man's tone, as if he could not even conceive the idea that someone might want the child, set Norm's teeth on edge. The temptation to murder them in particularly creative ways welled up once again before he shoved it down. They would never see Amanda like he did. They would never see how unique and amazing the child truly was. He should stop being surprised by their heartlessness.

"You're not even human," Mrs. Adams added, fear not enough to keep her silent. "How could you have custody of her?"

"With a lot of paperwork," said Norm dryly. "Paperwork awaiting your signatures. And you're going to sign it and give me guardianship of Amanda or else I will make there rest of your lives as absolutely painful as possible. You'll live, but you'll wish for death. So what's it going to be? Give me the kid you can't even appreciate properly or run the risk of really ticking me off?"

His decidedly-not-friendly smile managed to make the two humans grow pale with fear. They were terrified of him. And maybe if they possessed a hint of parental instincts, they might have hesitated to sign over their daughter to someone who scared them so much. But they weren't exceptions like Amanda. He could predict their reactions with very little trouble. Norm knew the pair would sell out their own child without hesitation.

"Do… do you have a pen?" asked Mrs. Adams.

He snapped sharply, a pair of pens materializing with a _gong_. And then the genie snapped again. The humans yelped in surprise as he summoned a new strange creature with a second _gong_.

"Who's that?" asked the man.

" _What's_ that?" his wife added, apparently a little more observant about the floating.

"Mr. Sanderson," Norm answered. "At least, I'm pretty sure that's Sanderson. They look a lot alike and I can't keep track of them very well." He shook his head briefly. "Anyway, apparently to make this whole thing legal and binding, a notary needs to witness the signing. And guess who is a recognized notary public for this state?"

"Multiple states," corrected Sanderson in a dull voice. "Utah is next on my list."

"Since you guys are still mostly trapped in that pocket dimension, Utah might have to wait. Unless you mean _your_ version of it," Norm said. Turning his attention back towards the confused and nervous humans, he said sharply, 'What are you waiting for? I'm not giving Sanderson a brief vacation for no reason. Start signing. _Now_."

* * *

"Okay, while leaving a note was nice, Norm really needs to give us a heads up before he kidnaps someone," muttered Timmy grumpily.

"When will Wanda be home?" Cosmo asked anxiously.

"You read the same note I did. It doesn't say."

"Poof poof?"

"I don't know what's going on. I don't know what Norm wants with Wanda."

The three of them were flopped on Timmy's bed, staring at the ceiling. Cosmo didn't like being separated from his wife, Poof missed his mom, and Timmy was just frustrated by the entire situation. Whatever was going on with Norm and Amanda was taking a long time and apparently required his fairy godmother.

Hopefully someone would tell them what was happening eventually.

* * *

People would expect a genie who spent the majority of his existence confined in a tiny space for centuries at a time to possess a decent supply of patience. But looming over the two humans, making certain that they didn't forget a single signature, proved that concept to be completely false. Norm wanted to do anything else. He wanted to send the two heartless idiots to a distant planet. He wanted to torment the Canadians. He wanted to go back and see if Amanda had calmed down yet. But he stayed there, glaring at the pair.

Once their initial fear of him and the pixie who watched steadily began to dull, the two of them started complaining. They didn't want to take orders from strange magical creatures. They wanted to know what authority Norm possessed to do this. They questioned the legality of the contract (something that made Sanderson almost glare at them). They wanted compensation for the trouble.

Never once did they want to know if their daughter would be safe.

Every time they complained, Norm glared at them sharply and silenced the pair temporarily. But it was only a short-term solution because they would always start up again. And unless he felt like terrifying them into compliance with magic again and hoping that fear didn't leave them shaking too much to write, it was the best he could do.

Regardless, the entire process was boring and frustrating. Norm absolutely hated it. Sending them to a desolate planet would be so much easier. But he wasn't going to waste his hard work now.

"There should only be a few more signatures on these last pages," said Sanderson, sliding a final small packet of papers. "Once complete, our business will be concluded."

"Good," Mr. Adams said sharply. "I still say we deserve compensation."

"I'm starting to think _I_ deserve compensation for dealing with you two," grumbled Norm.

"But we're giving you something you want," he continued. "I still don't know why, but you want that girl. We deserve to get something in return."

Sanderson floated back a little, moving slowly and quietly to avoid drawing attention to himself. The pixie might not be the more expression with his feelings, but he had the sense to recognize when someone's emotional state was growing dangerous. The humans didn't seem to have that survival instinct.

"Are you," said Norm, his voice calmer and steadier than he expected it to be, "trying to _sell_ your daughter? Like Amanda was some kind of _knickknack_?"

Their eyes widened. Maybe something in his tone finally clued the pair into the seriousness of the situation. Or maybe they were picking up on the excessive amount of magic practically crackling in the air around them, though he doubted the idiots recognized the sensation for what it truly was. Norm could barely hold back the absolute and murderous fury as it flared up. Keeping a firmer rein on his power would be too much to ask. Not vaporizing the humans was the most someone could ask of him at that moment.

"We've spent all that time and money on her," Mrs. Adams said, her voice shaking slightly. "Shouldn't we get something back?"

"You were her _parents_ ," said Norm, cold and sharp as ice. "Genies might not be big on the concept, but I know that kids don't owe parents anything. Kids don't ask to exist, to depend on those around them for their needs. You were supposed to do what's best for her because she was your daughter. But you never did. You only did the bare minimum to keep her alive and out of the way. And you made her pay for that much with her self-esteem and self-worth, tearing her down every chance you got."

He took a steadying breath, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Don't kill them. No matter how tempting, don't kill them. It was almost over.

"Finish signing," said Norm tensely. "Finish signing, give Amanda to me, and your compensation will be that you'll never see me again. Your compensation will be that I won't give you exactly what you deserve."

With only a brief hesitation, the pair returned to the paperwork. There was no more chatter. The only sound for the next few moments was the scribbling of pens. Norm used the time to force himself to calm down.

Finally, the last line was signed and they pushed the papers away. Sanderson pulled out a stamp to notarize them. The pixie finished the task swiftly and efficiently, just like his species did with all forms of paperwork.

Norm snapped and sent the documents to the appropriate locations with a _gong_. With them properly filed, the adoption was now official.

He was Amanda's guardian.

Smugly glaring at the two adult humans for that last time, Norm added, "Oh, and just in case you were wondering, everything in her bedroom belongs to the kid. All of it. So I'm taking it with me. And if you try to argue because you want to make some money off it in a yard sale, I swear I'll send you home with Sanderson."

* * *

The first hint that Wanda received that Norm was returning was furniture, clothes, and a handful of toys appearing in the house with a _gong_. Not enough for the entire house. Probably enough for one bedroom, which is probably where it originally came from. The noise of the materializing items didn't even disturb Amanda, the girl worn out by her stressful day and currently sleeping on the beanbag chair.

The fairy waited a few more minutes. Unsurprisingly, a second _gong_ rang out with a cloud of colorful smoke.

"That took a while," said Wanda, glancing at the newly-arrived genie. "Longer than I expected."

Acting as if he didn't hear her, Norm asked, "How's the kid?"

"She's sleeping," said Wanda. She could see the moment he spotted her on the beanbag, his shoulders relaxing noticeably. "She's still a bit overwhelmed, but Amanda calmed down after a little while. She is happy about this. She just felt guilty about being happy and trying to deal with the change. But she should be doing better when she wakes up."

"Good," he said, sounding a little awkward. "That's good." The genie glanced at Wanda. "Thanks for watching over her."

"She was no trouble at all. Though a little warning ahead of time would be nice if this sort of thing comes up again."

He gave her a short nod before floating towards Amanda. Rather than immediately heading home, Wanda watched a moment in silence. She saw Norm carefully scoop up his girl while humming softly. She normally would have rolled her eyes at the tune from Fairy Idol, but the expression on his face as he floated towards the bed with the child in his arms left Wanda with a fond smile.

Those two would be just fine together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it is now completely official. Norm has guardianship of the kid. Which means I don't have to write about her horrible parents anymore. Because as much as you guys hated them, imagine how much I wanted to send them to Mars.


End file.
